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Tuesday Hatred comments on commenters

I don’t hate all commenters. Although fear and self-loathing is not foreign to me, I don’t usually hate myself too much. But I do hate many if not most commenters. I hate them mostly because they remind me of myself at my worst, adding endurance to occasional obnoxiousness. It takes a tendency to being occasionally obnoxious to enable one to be commenting at all but it takes a whole lot of unselfcritical endurance to enable one to believe that one rarely makes obnoxious comments. I’d think most of us know that, in real life, we’ll tend to be wrong in about one out of two of our statements (before you feel personally addressed by this statement, let’s assume this follows a Gaussian distribution; probability really is a life saver in these binary times). But take our asses on-line and we ‘ll tend to spontaneously believe that every single utterance we make is spot on. The merest suggestion of fallibility is enough to bring out Mr., Ms. or Mrs. Obnoxious. You would not drink a beer with somebody like that but the internet finds out the Jekyll in you flawlessly.

I hate commenters who can take the above to be self-evidently true but who nonetheless have never conceded anything – let alone an argument – in any thread.

I hate commenters who do not take the above to be self-evidently true and who believe in any case that, if it were true,  it would in any case not be applicable to them.

I hate with a vengeance those commenters that form the union between the above two sets intersected with the set of the commenters who comment full-time with a strong desire to win every argument (I suspect the latter set is identical in its membership to the former union of two sets but I have no time to prove it).

I specifically hate commenters who present themselves as experts in the implicit belief that any layperson with access to the internet and a shitload of time to find factoids in support of their contentions is, indeed, an expert.  By the way, I also hate experts who believe that their expertise is so special that it defies the possibility of being explained to laypersons in a way that would allow these laypersons to make valuable observations.

So this is my theory & I would really hate it to be true: the internet as we know it brings out the most obnoxious character traits in those who comment and, as most of us don’t enjoy being obnoxious, over time only the persistently obnoxious survive long term in on-line discussion forums. Just like society needs more women in power, the internet needs lurkers to be more in charge of where things go.

I hate being pronounced dead, certainly if the dying is the result of being beaten to it.

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July 26, 2011 - Posted by | Solidarity, Tuesday Hatred

9 Comments

  1. I am, uh, hesitant to comment today.

    My hatred this week again spouts from running (yet I love running – weird). On a six-miler Sunday, I noticed people glancing toward my chest region. After a few different people did this (Excuse me! My eyes are up here!) I finally thought to glance down to see both my nipples had bled all over my shirt. I hated that, and have now resolved to address the problem by going to find a product that will prevent it.

    Comment by Matt in Toledo | July 26, 2011

  2. nipple bleeding, you sure you don’t have cancer? the other day i read that cancer can be prevented eating brokkoli, the special substance in it recognizes only the cancerous cells and kills them
    i’m glad i don’t belong to any of the commenters’ category GN writes about since i always concede and practice self-hatred and criticism more than anything else i believe

    Comment by read | July 26, 2011

  3. Are any of us really sure we don’t have cancer? I’m honored to be added to the group of Weblog commenters to receive similar prognoses, read, but this was likely nothing so serious. Running just causes one’s shirt to rub one’s nipples repeatedly and eventually this can lead to chafing and, apparently, bleeding. Broccoli might be creatively used to solve this problem, but I’ll probably just find a lubricant that can do the trick.

    Comment by Matt in Toledo | July 26, 2011

  4. i hate that i again hate at WB, but not for long i guess
    before finding a lubricant one can run shirtless is my advice, but that’s not good what’s with the sun exposure, better to use the lubricant or a shirt made of a softer cloth
    soft cloth in the heat sounds hateful though

    Comment by read | July 26, 2011

  5. I hate me too.

    Comment by bob mcmanus | July 26, 2011

  6. I hate that many of the things I hate are predicated on circumstances that most people would find amazingly enviable, such that I feel bad hating them.

    Comment by Adam Kotsko | July 26, 2011

  7. I had a dream last night about John Boehner, Obama, the debt ceiling, and a trio of young men in identical pale blue serge suits. I don’t know if they were pages or a barbershop singing group or what — their exact function was never made entirely clear, although Boehner seemed to be afraid of them.

    Comment by jms | July 26, 2011

  8. I hate John Boehner. All else hate in my life pales in comparison right now.

    Comment by William | July 26, 2011

  9. Comments 1-2 cracked me up so much.

    Comment by jms | July 27, 2011


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