Spoiler Alert Thursday
The ratio of absolute crap to what’s kinda interesting at io9 is terrible. I won’t bother getting into the odd scientistic fundamentalism for obvious reasons: no serious person should take it seriously. Basically, what io9 is good for is pictures of strange shit in space and episode recaps. Unfortunately, the episode recaps are becoming increasingly untrustworthy. The woman who does the recaps for “Supernatural” is, straight-up, an idiot and whoever it is that does them for “Fringe” is completely delusional. The best part of the most recent episode of “Fringe” was Olivia and Fauxlivia gawking at Peter? Come on. (a) Fauxlivia distinguishes herself from Olivia with a wig and an ape-walk (great acting! anyone remember the William Bell travesty of last year?) and (b) Olivia should consider wearing a wig and walking like an ape because all she has to fall back on is that she is fundamentally stupid. Fauxlivia is, of course, also fundamentally stupid, but you don’t see it right away because you’re like, “Who is that nasty ape-woman coming at me? This is going to be good. Oh, no, it wasn’t. She’s just a stupid wig-wearing ape-woman.” With Olivia it’s just, “Wow. She looks stupid. And she is.” Again, the best part of the episode was Walter, especially his interactions with Altrid. And, a close second, was Altrid and Astrid. Again, Dean was great in “Supernatural” this week. Sort of like that Modest Mouse song–”I’m trying to find a way to drink away the part of the day I can’t sleep away.” Also, easy chicks. Except, this time, easy chicks and booze backfires. It surprises me that easy chicks and booze hasn’t backfired on Dean before. Or, as Bobby put it, “How is it that half the time you clean up a mess, you end up dirty?”
Blythe absolutely insisted that I include the following scene from “Supernatural”:
“NCIS” was incredibly terrible. It began with Gibbs’ apparent death and the possibility of McGee leaving for a promotion in Japan. It ended with Gibbs being alive and McGee staying in his current position. Oh, and there was Franks, who is possibly the worst character in a show filled with the worst characters imaginable. And Fornell didn’t even get to speak! The fuck! But he did give a smile with the suggestion of some later Fornellication. “Hart of Dixie” amply lived up to the nickname I’ve given it: “Fart of Dixie.” What a turd! Unsurprisingly, “Ringer” and “Unforgettable” also shared the same ontological status as yesterday’s burrito. However, with “Unforgettable,” we’ve added in multiple layers of unbelievable. Questions: (1) who saw this pitch and said, “Yeah, pilot, please.” (2) Who saw the pilot and said, “Yeah, full season, please.” And, finally, (3) who are the 11.7 million Americans watching this show every week? Like, they can’t all be watching this show just to see how fucking incoherent it can get.
We haven’t watched “Spartacus: Vengeance” yet even though it is two episodes in. We find (1) replacing Andy Whitfield to be in rather bad taste and it’s not like there is anyone else alive who could be an equally convincing and awesome Spartacus and (2) Xena’s survival to be insane and only because her husband is the producer/creator.
Tidbit of the week: 225 million chickens died so Americans could consume their sauce covered wings while watching a bunch of commercials and Madonna.
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