Spoiler Alert Thursday
Yet another excessively dull episode of “The Walking Dead”! What is surprising to me is that the ratings for the show have been consistently good. As far as I can tell, this has been a great idea, a great premise, that has been consistently squandered. Like, I can understand why the ratings for “The Killing” remained more or less consistent: it was so terrible that people wanted to see how this piece of shit was going to end. With “The Walking Dead,” you don’t need to stick with the show to see how it will end or where it is going; you just need to download some comic books.
The horrible thought, of course, is that people watch the show because (1) they think it is quality television and (2) they find the show somehow compelling. I guess I can see why the latter is held to be true: “Two and a Half Men” continues to have excellent ratings and the politics of the show are, to say the least, retrograde at best. Likewise, the politics of “The Walking Dead” are outright reactionary. Indeed, it would likely be a hilarious mash-up to take scenes from the show and add in text from Corey Robin’s The Reactionary Mind. Hell, skip Robin and go straight to the original sources. Personally, I recommend Ayn Rand, Carl Schmitt, and Joseph de Maistre! It is clearly the case that “The Walking Dead” makes “24″ seem positively socialist!
So, what did we get this week? We have a boy who spends an entire scene torturing a zombie stuck in the mud by throwing rocks and sticks at it–not to mention the smell of the boy himself. When the zombie finally breaks free, the kid is too chicken-shit to kill the zombie, he looses his gun (that he stole from Daryl, which will no doubt lead to problems down the line), and runs away. Obviously, we’ll come back to the zombie later; like I said, this show is not well-written. Being too chicken-shit to kill something in the world of “The Walking Dead” always has consequences. We have sensitive Daryl–who suddenly has the single best part of the show: a denim vest/jacket with angel wings on the back–taking out his frustration on their prisoner by torturing him. Of course, we have wishy-washy discussions of torture; the sort of discussions that have been handled far better in basically every other show and which serve no purpose at all at this point in television history. We have the meddling old man trying to save civilization by talking, talking, talking and manipulating, manipulating, manipulating the others to convince them not to summarily execute the prisoner. And, of course, we have a number of discussions on the best way to execute the prisoner. Rick seems to prefer hanging–he even goes so far as to tie a noose. While doing so, Lori comes in to the barn talking about winter: “We need somewhere warm to sleep!” Rick suggests the barn they’re in. Yeah, great idea: when you get sick of T-Bone or just get bored, you can string him up without having to go outside! Meanwhile, Rick and Shane fight some more–mostly on the best way to kill the prisoner. Finally, just after Rick refuses to kill the prisoner even though the group has decided that he must die, we come back to that zombie. For reasons absolutely unknown, Dale–the talking meddler-manipulator–decides to go for walk in the dark all by himself. He finds a dead cow being munched upon by the very same zombie that Carl was too chicken-shit to kill. You see, if you don’t kill, then you will get killed; if dad isn’t brave enough to kill, then the son won’t be brave enough to kill. Obviously, just as Carl’s spinelessness leads to Dale’s death, Rick’s spinelessness will lead to someone’s death next week when the prisoner escapes. How about Carol? She’s had two lines in four episodes. How about T-Bone? He hasn’t spoken since the Jim Crow era!
What a turd of a show. Fortunately, “Game of Thrones” returns on April 1 and we’ll finally have premium cable television shows that don’t suck. Hilarious aside: “The Killing” is also scheduled to return that day. Clearly someone at AMC has a sense of humour. Otherwise, we watched “Generation Kill” for the third time in two weeks.
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