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GOP: Year One

Aside from their nihilism and incompetence, the biggest problem facing Republicans is that their mythology has become too difficult for the average person to follow. It’s like a comic book “universe” where the writers have been straining to maintain continuity for decades — all the ever-more-fine-grained details are really satisfying for the hardcore fans, but intimidating for potential new readers, who are left asking, “Trickle-what? Chappaquid-who? What’s that about Obama’s birth certificate? Obama’s European now? I thought he was a Muslim! Darn it, I’ll never catch up!”

I suggest, therefore, that the Republicans use their current time of wandering in the wilderness to do their own version of Crisis on Infinite Earths. They wouldn’t have to ditch their favorite heroes, of course — we could also be treated to limited series like Rush Limbaugh: Year One, Newt Gingrich: Year One, etc. They can reboot all the plotlines, free the beloved characters of the chains of continuity, and then do it again, and yet again — until finally they find success in some genre other than politics, much as comic book superheroes have moved on to the movies.

February 27, 2009 - Posted by | comic books!!!, politics


  1. Epic win.

    And we’re stuck on the one Earth without any superheroes to stop the Cheneys and Luthors.

    Comment by Currence | February 27, 2009

  2. Ugh, Infinite Crisis. The only redeeming thing about that whole mess was seeing Superboy punch through universes (as in, he throws a punch and other universes get hit). I don’t know why I kept reading. Just terrible.

    I don’t think this can be one of the Earths without any superheroes. The worlds where Luthor ran everything were always interesting in a way that ours is not. Or maybe the problem is just that we don’t have any good supervillains. Just the boring, normal kind. (Where would we be now if Cheney had been made bald as a child? Certainly satellite death-ray technology would’ve progressed more than it has.)

    Comment by Daniel Lindquist | February 27, 2009

  3. This is an incredible post.

    Comment by Alex | February 28, 2009

  4. They should do a story where we wake up and it was all a bad dream.

    Comment by Bitchphd | February 28, 2009

  5. I repeated this idea to someone and they were totally convinced by it. Full-length piece for major publication! G’won!

    Comment by infinite thought | March 1, 2009

  6. Hopefully all this is just run-up to a GOP Civil War.

    Comment by bbass | March 1, 2009

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