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Friday Afternoon Confessional: You know, for kids!

I confess that it has been my distinct pleasure for the last several days to be awoken each morning by someone “hocking a loogie,” as the kids once said, near my bedroom window.

I confess that after back-to-back pub trivia victories, we lost ignominously this week due to the absence of my former roommate Mike, a true master of trivia.

I confess that I’m far behind my self-imposed schedule, but I’ve finally completed a full draft of the first chapter of my long-awaited awkwardness book (working title: Awkwardness). At one point I thought I could complete it between submitting and defending, or between defending and graduating — but projecting a due date at the end of August just to be safe turned out to be a good move.

I confess that this week I made my first student loan payment. It thankfully did not reflect my full loan balance, as Rod Blagojevich’s improvisational budgetary methods led to my student loans (originally serviced by the Illinois direct loan program) to be split between different lenders and a good chunk of them have an automatic grace period anyway (though not the ones I consolidated mid-stream back when interest rates were so low). I confess that I probably have exaggerated ideas of how much debt I’ll be able to retire in my year at Kalamazoo — in fact, overly aggressive efforts might hurt me in the long run if I don’t get a job for fall 2010.

Perhaps I should sit down with a certified financial planner. Or better yet, become one. Or I could start a business making stamps for certified finacial planners to reflect current economic realities: for example, “I can’t help you, you’re fucked.” The stamps would presumably be applied to people’s foreheads. Perhaps the demand for them would be so strong that they would revive our ailing manufacturing sector, kick-starting the economy as they rendered themselves obselete — a true miracle of capitalism.


June 19, 2009 - Posted by | Friday Afternoon Confessional


  1. I miss my dog.

    Comment by Craig | June 19, 2009

  2. I confess I hope that if yo live in Illinois you’ll call your legislators and tell them to stop the doomsday budget cuts.

    Comment by Rob B | June 19, 2009

  3. I confess that somehow last week’s confessional got more traffic today than this week’s.

    Comment by Adam Kotsko | June 19, 2009

  4. I confess that Ben Wolfson gave me excellent parenting advice today and I am really quite grateful.

    I confess that I am as surprised as you all are to hear this.

    Comment by bitchphd | June 20, 2009

  5. I confess that I hear Adam Kotsko’s words in my head in my girlfriend’s brother’s voice, and have for some time. I confess that that picture he posted of himself didn’t help this, as he actually bears a reasonable physical resemblance to said girlfriend’s brother.

    Comment by RobDP | June 20, 2009

  6. I confess I like this June very much so nice moderate temperatures, just if it was not always rainy, but a little bit cloudy-sunny b/c I realize that if sunny it would be hot
    I thought brilliant thoughts about awkwardness what causes it 1. Rejection 2. Being suspected for something you didn’t do 3 encountering something unknown 4 doing something outside of the accepted norms 5 just being shy 6 personality disorders though the affected themselves perhaps do not feel it themselves, so it’s perhaps encounter with the unknown kind
    And generally awkwardness is the pause before action, the feeling of uncertainty, perhaps the neurotransmitters are not enough released yet dopamine or something
    Always determined people, very sure in themselves, perhaps, don’t feel it, very strong coping mechanisms, quick reaction etc
    A long bus ride

    Comment by Read | June 21, 2009

  7. i confess i like my haircut, straight around the shoulders and a bob, looks pretty feminine
    and i produced it myself saving thus 50

    Comment by read | June 21, 2009

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