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Spoiler Alert Thursday: Announcement

This weekly feature is on hiatus until I finish my awkwardness book or the new season of Mad Men starts, whichever comes first.


July 2, 2009 - Posted by | Spoiler Alert Thursdays


  1. Okay, I am still complaining about True Blood.

    Seriously, could the Season One finale have been any stupider? So the entire first season is built around the serial killer mystery: Who, among the Bon Temps’ quirky, beloved denizens, could be murdering all the young ladies in town – and why?

    The answer? It doesn’t even fucking matter, because the killer’s motivations are totally unrelated to his character as it has been presented so far on the show: The big reveal is that quirky, beloved Rene turns out to be a secret crazy person with a secret identity that made him secretly kill a bunch of people. Oh my god. Why don’t they just have Sookie wake up at the end of the season and have it all be a dream?

    And after all that, they have the gall to end the episode with a cliffhanger consisting of the discovery of another dead woman. Why, at that point, are we supposed to care? Half the women in the town are dead, what difference does another one make? And who cares who killed her? Probably Sookie herself, under the spell of a secret, unrevealed psychosis wherein she exhibited murderous traits that have nothing to do with anything she has done or said up to this point.

    And also! Speaking of Sookie, what the fuck. So she finds out that her boyfriend just murdered some innocent teenage girl pretty much in cold blood, and gets all in a pout over it because . . . she’s mad he didn’t trust her enough to tell her about it to begin with? Uh . . . okay. I mean, I don’t need my television programming to be populated by people I find totally sympathetic, but it would help me understand what’s going on if the main characters weren’t complete aliens. Like, it would be nice if someone on this show occasionally exhibited some normal, comprehensible human morals or emotions.

    Comment by jms | July 2, 2009

  2. The above comment is dedicated to Wrongshore.

    Comment by jms | July 2, 2009

  3. i’ll complain about one program on HGTV about the first time home buyers, that woman realtor in the show is the worst racist i’ve ever seen perhaps on tv
    there was a black woman in her 50ies buying her first house and she was so happy and excited and the realtor-host of the show were making remarks like something condescending after every exclamation the buyer would say about the houses she was looking
    spoiled me the pleasure to watch HGTV for weeks
    i’m too complainy today, what’s wrong with me

    Comment by read | July 2, 2009

  4. Hey, thanks, jms. I never had a comment dedicated to me before.

    Is Rene the bartender with the long-standing crush? I never made it past ep 2 or 3.

    Comment by Wrongshore | July 2, 2009

  5. All that is true, but Eric is fucking awesome. But, c’mon, given that none of the three main characters are unambiguously human (an empath, a shapeshift, and a vampire), how can you coherently demand that they “occasionally exhibit some normal, comprehensible human morals or emotions”? The minotaur in the most recent episode was also pretty awesome.

    Comment by Craig | July 2, 2009

  6. Rene is the Cajun road-crew worker who is secretly a psychokiller. Sam is the lovelorn bartender who is secretly a dog. It doesn’t matter though, because the characters are all interchangeable, and distinguished only by their adorable wacky quirks.

    I agree that Eric is pretty good. The addition of his spiffy new haircut and Adidas tracksuit have improved the show by, oh, seven hundred or so percent. Not enough to make it not suck, though.

    Comment by jms | July 2, 2009

  7. It is the other way around for Rene. Sam is able to take on any animal form, he just seems to prefer dogs – likely because he is loyal to a fault and likes to cuddle. Admiral Cain is getting to be annoying (why is she trying to breed black people?). Either she is the minotaur or controls the minotaur. She is likely fueled by human hearts.

    Comment by Craig | July 2, 2009

  8. Craig, you’re right on. Eric keeps me coming back to the show, now more than ever because of a recent discovery that he is Stellan Skarsgard’s son and the sexiest man in Sweden, five years running. Well, that and the fact that I am heartily amused that Anna Paquin is repeatedly upstaged by her own boobs.

    Comment by ebolden | July 2, 2009

  9. Although, we shouldn’t discount Bill: there is something quite awesome about the way he says, “I am vampire.”

    Comment by Craig | July 2, 2009

  10. Indeed. Though I needed an imdb assist to remember he was the “puddles of love” architect with the sideburns from Quills.

    Comment by ebolden | July 2, 2009

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