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Friday Afternoon Confessional: $15.89

I confess that I have failed to find a subletter to take my place in my Chicago apartment on September 1. After over a month of unanswered e-mails, blown-off appointments, and good prospects who were really interested and even excited about the place and took applications but then dropped off the face of the earth, I now find myself in the uncomfortable position of paying double rent for September. Hopefully the damage can be limited to September. In the meantime, my abusive relationship with the Craigslist roomshare section will continue until I leave town (next weekend), in the hopes that I can find someone to move in October 1 or before. If they would sign a lease, I would even spot them the rest of September!

I confess, however, that I am relieved that I don’t have to move this weekend for a variety of reasons, including but not limited to my desire to soak up as much of Chicago’s unique charm as possible before moving to Kalamazoo and the vagaries of out-of-town checks that arrive later than expected both in the week and the day, all those petty and well-placed details that conspire against me having the timely use of the money — more than enough — that I have earned and am entitled to. My entire life for the past few years, it has become clear in retrospect, was centered around the grim anxiety of waiting for checks to arrive and clear, all the while making more aggressive use of the features of my credit cards than I felt entirely comfortable with — hoping things would fall together smoothly just this once and yet knowing they won’t and getting too good at planning for the contingencies that fill up a life that starts to look alarmingly like one long contingency plan.

I confess that it’s not, though. I confess that things very often do go smoothly — yet they’re often the things that I wasn’t even remotely looking for, like a book contract before I even finished my exams, or a job that came out of nowhere when I had completely given up hope, or finding someone who fits better with me than I thought was even hypothetically possible.

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August 28, 2009 - Posted by | Friday Afternoon Confessional

12 Comments

  1. I confess I found this post rather touching.

    I confess that I spilled wine on my desk just now. Immediately thereafter, I realized I was wearing a purple shirt. I confess I wiped up the spill with my sleeve.

    I confess to slovenliness. Also to drinking too much.

    I confess that after a three-month hiatus I plan to start smoking again very soon. I’m looking forward to it.

    Comment by jms | August 28, 2009

  2. i confess my visa info is not in their system and they need to verify it and hopefully before my airplane tickets will need any change or replacement

    Comment by read | August 28, 2009

  3. I confess that I too, was touched by this post. I also confess that I drink too much and smoke too much and some times this combination makes me weep too much.

    I confess to missing Adam already.

    Comment by ebolden | August 28, 2009

  4. I confess to wondering at the significance of the $15.89, and also confess to fearing it was explained or hidden somewhere in the post and I just missed it.

    Comment by Matt in Toledo | August 28, 2009

  5. A dog bit me last week. I confess that I never expected to this happen. The dog was later euthanized in accordance with the “Dog Owner’s Liability Act.” I confess to being annoyed and upset that I was not consulted on this decision.

    I confess that classes begin in about two weeks and I haven’t begun scanning or uploading course materials to WebCT yet. I confess that WebCT is a piece of crap that I only use because the “CanCopy” royalties are so ridiculous that students end up paying hundreds of dollars for a couple dozen photocopied articles.

    Comment by Craig McFarlane | August 28, 2009

  6. (I confess that this is the second time I’ve posted this because I keep forgetting to log myself out of my wordpress account for another site. I confess that I suspect Adam is getting sick of me doing this.)

    A dog bit me last week. I confess that I never expected to this happen. The dog was later euthanized in accordance with the “Dog Owner’s Liability Act.” I confess to being annoyed and upset that I was not consulted on this decision.

    I confess that classes begin in about two weeks and I haven’t begun scanning or uploading course materials to WebCT yet. I confess that WebCT is a piece of crap that I only use because the “CanCopy” royalties are so ridiculous that students end up paying hundreds of dollars for a couple dozen photocopied articles.

    Comment by Craig | August 28, 2009

  7. Yeah, Craig, just do one or the other. I’m going to leave both this time because that means both accounts will be let through and it won’t be an issue from here on out.

    Comment by Adam Kotsko | August 28, 2009

  8. $15.89 was my bank balance as of last night. That’s more than double what it was through most of the month, though.

    Comment by Adam Kotsko | August 28, 2009

  9. Thanks for you understanding, Adam.

    I confess that I now look like an idiot far more than I normally do.

    Comment by Craig | August 28, 2009

  10. I confess that I have no clue what I’m doing with my independent study and I’m worried whether I will have time to figure that out soon between the reading for other classes, new cafeteria job, and studying for the GREs.

    Comment by dave | August 28, 2009

  11. I confess it got a little dusty in here when I read this.

    Comment by Hill | August 28, 2009

  12. i confess i hate how my sisters bring up their kids, they are so spoiled and whiny and crying a lot, the bigger ones are lazy and unmotivated
    i can’t imagine having a baby myself, this much crying and clinging, one would get just mad if to spend 24 hrs all the time with the little kid
    and it’s all their parents’ methods, allowing everything, so spoiling and annoying, with me they are good when i ask them strictly
    hopefully in a week i’m far from them to have my peace and rest

    Comment by read | August 30, 2009


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