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Friday Afternoon Confessional: Beyond the Mirage

I confess that although I enjoy the jazz guitar albums by Al DiMeola that Brad recommended to me, I can’t help but feel like I’m shopping for candles or something every time they come on shuffle.

I confess that my apartment is on the opposite side of the house from the driveway, and when the pizza guy parked in the neighbor’s driveway for easier access this time, I realized I’d ordered pizza way too often in the last few weeks.

I confess that I’m already a little afraid to get teaching evaluations back, all the moreso because I feel like things are going well and would like to keep feeling that way. I confess that looking over the job listings and the jobs I’ve already applied for, a thought hit me: I could be unemployed again this time next year. I confess that I did not find that to be an uplifting or joyous thought.

I confess that swine flu sounds really scary. I confess that I don’t bear up bravely under sickness or pain. I confess that I’ve been drinking too much coffee in the last week. I confess that I’m losing sight of the benefit coffee is supposed to be bringing into my life, heretical as that sounds. Or perhaps I’m just getting tired of drip coffee, being spoiled by The Girlfriend’s French press. I suppose I can afford to buy that kind of thing.

I confess that the bathtub seemed a bit slow this morning, almost as though it were fulfilling the prophecy that whenever I claim to be good at something (unclogging drains) I’m proven wrong. It cleared up by about halfway through my shower, though — I figure that it would get worse rather than better if it were a significant clog, right?



October 9, 2009 - Posted by | Friday Afternoon Confessional


  1. I confess to gushing to David Bazan after the magnificent set his new band played earlier this week. I expressed my gratitude for how keenly his songs articulate the challenges of living up to and living down a religious inheritance.
    I confess to being moved by his sincerity, humility, and graciousness.

    Comment by marcegoodman | October 9, 2009

  2. I confess I sort of miss Adam’s real life rantings about slow drains.

    Comment by Anthony Paul Smith | October 9, 2009

  3. I confess that studying for the GREs and then doing worse on the GRE practice test than I did when I didn’t study makes me want to forget the whole thing. I confess that I don’t think I’ll be able to get back into the mindset of why I want to go to grad school until this bullshit test is over with. I confess that I’m scared I won’t do well, and that my poor results combined with my no-name undergraduate institution will lead me nowhere after May.

    I confess that I’ve neglected to do dishes all week, even leaving my french press filled with grounds and old coffee for that entire time (Adam, they are about 20 or 30 bucks, for a decent one). I confess that I do not wash my french press out with soap, only hot water, because I don’t want my coffee to taste soapy. I confess that I do the same thing with beer glassware, whenever I use it.

    Comment by dave | October 9, 2009

  4. I confess to feeling bad about badmouthing the Zero-istes over at AWP, it’s a bit like clubbing baby seals. They are really trying to do something interesting and should be commended for it, creating a space for intellectual dialogue is no easy matter.

    I confess to really enjoying Ingmar Bergman’s autobiography – lifelong irritable bowel syndrome, refused to believe the Holocaust had happened because he admired Hitler so much, quite a character. And, his description of his father sounds a lot like his daughter’s fictionalised description of him. Gloomy Swedes are surprisingly funny.

    Comment by Gabe | October 9, 2009

  5. I confess I’m totally flummoxed by the announcement that the Nobel committee decided to award its Peace Prize to Obama. For what, escalating the war in Afghanistan?

    Comment by jms | October 9, 2009

  6. Well, Kissinger got one.

    Comment by K-sky | October 9, 2009

  7. I confess that 1.5 years in, the exigencies of the tenure track are having their way with me. I confess to allowing my fear of bad teaching evals too much power over me as well, to the extent that I’ve begun conducting my own personal mid-term evaluations. That way, students get the bad bad feelings off their chest in a venue that only I can see, and I have a chance to respond to the constructive commentary before it’s too late. I confess to pride in this strategy, even as it signals my descent into manipulative administrative obsession.

    Comment by Adam Henne | October 9, 2009

  8. I confess to being flummoxed by the same thing which flummoxes jms.

    Comment by ben | October 9, 2009

  9. about buying the candles, i recalled my niece who came to stay with me last winter for a month buying her two fragrances, around 90-120 each i recall, Christmas time, presents to self
    i can’t stand perfumes, always have a headache if to wear it myself, so asked her naturally why she would buy them at once, expensive, for me them are like something useless
    and she said b/c one lives only once, so one shouldn’t restrict self in anything if likes and can afford
    it was like something of revelation to me, one lives only once, of course i know we can’t live many lives but still it always seems to me i can start doing something later when things are better etc and here, time is up

    Comment by read | October 9, 2009

  10. I confess that I covet my neighbor’s RAM.

    I confess that I worked at about 33% of maximal efficiency this week, when I really ought to have been going at–at minimum–66%, and that I can’t believe it’s fucking Friday already.

    Comment by transportinburma | October 9, 2009

  11. i worked as hard as could, so am tired now, but the results are as we say crying
    so maybe it’s better to not work hard if the output is the same, like, sebe doroje, or as they say, better to save self

    Comment by read | October 9, 2009

  12. i confess i watched the first ever episode of Madmen on the plane, thought i’d get interested in watching perhaps, people always talk about the show
    so can recognize Don and Peggy i guess now, but that much smoking and aggressiveness of all against all, i thought i have stress enough in my life to want to enhance it watching the shows
    Peggy i could have liked maybe, the woman who was introducing her to her new work had so unbelievable body, i couldn’t tell whether it’s obese or very proportional
    who’s Betty i can’t recall, i think Don was married, but i can’t recall his wife and there were kids, his mistress i recall, a painter, i like the actress, just she talks into her nose

    Comment by read | October 9, 2009

  13. I confess that I’ve lost the ability to discern reality from parody.

    Comment by stras | October 10, 2009

  14. i wish to friend more people from here on FB, perhaps one could find me from BW’s or JE’s friends’list if to look up ours sounding name :)
    i look at you stras and jms and everybody else

    Comment by read | October 10, 2009

  15. I confess that my comma usage is half-assed. I also confess to laziness for not researching and implementing correct comma usage.

    Comment by Jon | October 10, 2009

  16. should say ‘am looking at’ i guess

    Comment by read | October 10, 2009

  17. I confess I don’t have a Facebook account.

    I confess I had an awesome birthday weekend. I confess I visited the Watts Towers for the first time, and then we attended a Mexican War reenactment. I confess I was disappointed that the reenactment didn’t involve any fake bloodshed.

    Comment by jms | October 11, 2009

  18. Did it involve real bloodshed?

    Comment by ben | October 12, 2009

  19. No, but that did not cause me disappointment.

    Comment by jms | October 12, 2009

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