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Tuesday Hatred: Chancy Endeavor

It sure would be nice, I think, if the participants in Critical Mass showed their fellow cyclists approximately the same courtesy that they (the participants’ fellow cyclists) get from the drivers of automobiles. For instance, for the most part, the drivers of automobiles cause their conveyances to remain outside the bicycle lanes. This is convenient for many reasons, not the least of which is that it enables those people who use their bicycles to get from place to place to travel at a reasonable speed. In the context of Critical Mass, there would be a further convenience, namely, it would enable people who dislike being surrounded by hooting yahoos to minimize their time in such company. Since I gather that part of the point of CM is to be unpleasant, it’s probably too much to ask that they stop at red lights and let perpendicular traffic through, though maybe they could work out a way to leave a buffer wide enough for cyclists but not cars. Having turned off Market at Hayes (which is earlier than normal) I was very upset to discover that my massive nemeses had also turned off of market, a few blocks on, and were blocking my Hayesish path, despite the light change. I was tempted to dismount and walk as slowly as possible across the intersection, perhaps coming to a deliberate halt in front of a brakeless fixie-rider, but I didn’t think that would end at all well. And besides, I didn’t actually want to get hit. (In fact Market doesn’t have proper bike lanes separate from the auto lanes, but nevertheless autos and heteros manage to coexist reasonably ok on it; better, anyway, than my hetero and those of the Critical Massholes did.)

I was recently reminded of my corporeality, and not in a fun way, either; more like in the way that an extremely novice ship’s pilot might be. The culprits included, as is listed in the great “Selbstporträt mit Kater“, “Fuselöle, Aldehyde, Restalkohol”—a pregnant list. “Restalkohol” perhaps refers to the head and the tail, the first and last of what comes off the still, typically discarded in favor of the “heart” from the middle, but in the given context we can discern another significance. The Restalkohol is not the waste on either end but the excess that cannot be incorporated, the recalcitrant aldehyde which, being pure content without form, is not assimilable and will, until it is passed (through the head or the tail!), dwell uncomfortably in the body and interrupt its proper functioning, resulting in such behaviors as dropping things, saying things you mean, and walking unsteadily.

As you might have noticed, I’ve been experimenting with a new format for the TH in which I don’t say “I hate p” or even, for the most part, discuss my hatred itself at all. Rather I wish to focus on the object of my hatreds. The passion itself is not the thing. Though I am very passionate. Ladies.


November 3, 2009 - Posted by | Tuesday Hatred


  1. regarding the things to say not meaning it, i’ve noticed recently i say oh god when sigh, every time, in English, out loud, it’s like 20-30 times a day and i think what’s the matter, i’m not that religious and depressive either
    could have understand if said burkhan min’, but then got it it’s too like long
    so i mean i hate this new habit though it provides some kind of relief i suppose
    also i hate the items i’ve ordered through amazon did not arrive yet, though they charged me 12.5 for delivery and it’s too early, so my quality of life is the same low with tissue hand picking all the hair on the bathroom floor

    Comment by read | November 3, 2009

  2. great morning outside, smells nice
    – have or have understood,

    Comment by Read | November 3, 2009

  3. I hate bagless vacuums. I hate that the dust cup has to be emptied like every two minutes, and then it has to be banged on some hard surface in order to knock the bits of dust out. This process inevitably releases the dust into the air, and onto the floor, and all over my hands (and, I imagine, my hair and face and clothing). It would be so much better to just eject a closed bag and throw it away! Also, I hate that the vacuum motor burns out after like ten minutes of use.

    Of course it could just be that my particular vacuum is a cheap piece of shit.

    It’s so much of a pain that this last weekend I contemplated going over the carpet with a lint roller instead. I hate this carpet.

    Comment by jms | November 3, 2009

  4. i even write what i don’t mean, out loud means like whispering, depressive meant depressed or pretentious
    i hope now i’ve noticed the habit i’d stop doing like that
    i don’t have any carpets and the swiffers work for me so far fine, but if the scoop won’t be good at picking up the hair i would be so much disappointed, coz my hair is falling so many that i always wonder why i’m not bald yet
    i mean maybe you can try to wash the container, no? but some of them are impossible to wash b/c are connected to the cord

    Comment by read | November 3, 2009

  5. I like my bagless vacuum — it allows me to marvel at the amount of dog hair my carpet can collect in simply a week. It’s almost a disappointment if I finish a room and don’t yet have to empty the container. The Dyson my in-laws bought us is fucking amazing.

    Comment by Brad Johnson | November 3, 2009

  6. I hate that my wife’s house, which has a beautiful back yard but the wrong floor plan for two at-home workers, now represents a net loss of about $600/month fully rented out. It makes my wonderfully cheap and well-located 2BR apartment, which we’re growing out of and really won’t be very good for (someday) baby-raising, that much more a golden handcuff.

    Comment by K-sky | November 3, 2009

  7. 1. ditch the apartment and move into the house
    2. get a real job

    problem solved!

    Comment by ben | November 3, 2009

  8. I wasn’t asking you to solve my problems, ben. I just wanted to be heard.

    Comment by K-sky | November 3, 2009

  9. I don’t wait to be asked.

    Comment by ben | November 3, 2009

  10. A certain post at a certain blog inspired me to think, “Hey, I used to get quite a kick out of playing Civilization. I should go find my Civ IV disc and give it another whirl.” I hate that I then went and found said disc, put it in my drive, and proceeded to waste a whole bunch of time playing it. I hate that I decided at 11 p.m. last night to start a new civilization. I hate that I just had to see it through, had to keep on playing–meaning that it was 2 a.m. by the time I turned in. All for what? Another hollow domination victory?

    I hate that the AI in that game is not sophisticated enough to resign when it has no chance of beating me. The last hour of that had to be me working towards to foregone conclusion of victory, yet the computer just would not give up. So I made grenadier after grenadier, worked my way up to cavalry, and pummeled city after city. There was no way that the computer would have been able to produce military units sufficient to beat me when it only had 3 cities left and I had like 20, so why did it keep pretending it had a chance? Because it’s a stupid computer, that’s why. (IIRC, the AI in Age of Empires III is smart enough to know when it should resign.)

    Furthermore, I hate that I am not good enough at the game that I can win more expeditiously.

    I hate ewe. And yew too.

    Comment by transportinburma | November 3, 2009

  11. I hate that I wasted an opportunity to write “fait accompli” in the above.

    Comment by transportinburma | November 3, 2009

  12. Oh, and finally: I hate that the band on my GPS watch broke.

    Comment by transportinburma | November 3, 2009

  13. I hate that I just turned down sure lunchtime sex for the chance at better sex tonight.
    Oh, and I LOVE my bagless Dyson for the same reason as Brad. I enjoy being grossed out at the amount of kitty hair, dust and whatever that I can collect in each room, and I empty it promptly into the trash each time.

    Comment by Rebekah | November 4, 2009

  14. I hate looming unemployment.

    Comment by stras | November 4, 2009

  15. I hate putting together job applications. At what point will my self-disgust at continuing to procrastinate break through the wall of procrastination itself? I’m not confident that “some time tonight” is the right answer there.

    Comment by Adam Kotsko | November 4, 2009

  16. I too hate job applications. In order for one to reach before the deadline (i.e., close of business on the last day applications will be entertained), I need to courier it after teaching tomorrow. I only got around to tinkering with my already existing application materials this evening. Horrendous.

    Comment by Craig | November 4, 2009

  17. I hate it when people are constantly encouraging me to apply to literally everything that comes my way, even if it’s a long-shot, on a “might as well” basis — dude, seriously, I have other obligations in my life, and job applications are perhaps the least fulfilling thing imaginable. The very fact that you can reuse so much stuff actually perversely makes it worse, because you feel like it should be so much easier than it really is.

    Comment by Adam Kotsko | November 4, 2009

  18. I hate it when I’m playing chess and make a move thinking it will enable me later to threaten the opponent’s king, and realize too late that I’m playing black and it’s actually his queen.

    You’d think that someone who does that could never ever win, but amazingly I do ok.

    Comment by ben | November 4, 2009

  19. I hate the new suggestions on Facebook. Poke you? Write on her wall? Reconnect with him on Facebook? There’s a reason I don’t do all these things: it’s because for a great number of people, the untended existence of a Facebook friendship is the exactly appropriate degree of relationship.

    Comment by K-sky | November 5, 2009

  20. K-Sky, nicely said.

    Comment by Rebekah | November 5, 2009

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