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TV Show Concept: Crimetenders

The Girlfriend and I have been brainstorming ideas for a show starrring a team of bartenders who solve crimes. The opportunities for puns are virtually endless: “you can’t get a-head of the law,” “we tapped that guy,” “we’re cutting you off,” “you’ll never get a keg up on us.” There would also be scenes where the perpetrator comes in and orders a drink, and they slide his drink down the bar — except instead of a beer, it’s a mug with the murder weapon in it! We’re picturing this as a team of two guys — one rash and impetuous (preferably Irish), and the other calm and calculating — and one girl who knows martial arts. There would also be a cadre of regulars to make wry commentary and, once the audience has bonded with them, get into sticky situations with the criminals or occasionally be killed off. Even beyond the intrinsic interest of the concept, it should be an easy sell because of the obvious product placement opportunities.

Does anyone know someone in Hollywood we can approach with this?


January 9, 2010 - Posted by | boredom, television


  1. Update: the names of the Crimetenders are O’Malley (Irish guy), Steve (calculating guy, bar manager), and Tetra (no-nonsense Russian ninja). The Tetra character has really blossomed since I initially posted — she could use her martial arts skills to do backflips while delivering drinks, have cat-like reflexes to pick up spills, karate chop guys who are making unwanted advances, use a coaster as a make-shift throwing star to put out cigarettes smoked in defiance of the smoking ban, etc. And ironically, Steve and O’Malley never take her along on the crime-fighting missions despite her massive abilities, because they’re sexist. Then there would be opportunities for her to maybe have a shady ex-KGB past that entangles the guys and gives them a chance to see her talents at work in the field — and then they go back to normal and never take her along to fight crimes.

    The Girlfriend also suggests a radically episodic structure, where the show is rebooted every time — even if one of the regulars is killed off, they’ll be right back the next episode.

    Comment by Adam Kotsko | January 9, 2010

  2. Okay, new dynamic: Steve is a nervous nerdy guy, accountant-like, and O’Malley is always talking him into things (and Steve wants to bring Tetra along but O’Malley’s always saying, “We don’t need to bring a girl!”).

    O’Malley has a seemingly infinite number of sisters: every episode, a new sister shows up to bring him his lunch (a raw potato); every episode, she talks to Steve, who falls in love with each one. Periodically, a black, Asian, or Latina sister shows up; this goes completely unremarked. The sisters could be whichever actresses are “hot” at that time.

    Their landlord is Richard Dean Anderson (MacGyver); whenever they need to have something fixed, he does it MacGyver-style.

    Every so often they do an on-location episode — the example The Girlfriend came up with is going to Las Vegas for a bartending competition, since Tetra would obviously do very well. While there, they thwart an Oceans 11-style plot, guest-starring George Clooney!

    Comment by Adam Kotsko | January 9, 2010

  3. K-ky!

    Comment by read | January 9, 2010

  4. The Girlfriend also suggests a radically episodic structure, where the show is rebooted every time — even if one of the regulars is killed off, they’ll be right back the next episode.

    This is just standard Sitcom Time, though (as opposed to Soap Time). The element of death, while perhaps first introduced in South Park, changes nothing qualitatively.

    Comment by ben | January 9, 2010

  5. I believe the element of death was first introduced in the various Simpsons Halloween specials.

    Comment by stras | January 9, 2010

  6. I know some people.

    Comment by K-sky | January 9, 2010

  7. I have a brother in hollywood, but I would assume your relationship would be too strained.

    Comment by Chad | January 10, 2010

  8. OK, this is genius.

    Comment by jms | January 11, 2010

  9. Come to think of it, this would be great on Cartoon Network a la Sealab 2021. I would gladly help you get started writing a pilot.

    Comment by K-sky | January 11, 2010

  10. That’d be great. We’re kind of letting the idea marinate in our mind for a week or so before taking concrete action, but you’ll be the first person I contact. Thanks.

    Comment by Adam Kotsko | January 11, 2010

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