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Friday Afternoon Confessional: The B-I-B-L-E

I confess that this past weekend The Girlfriend and I went out to dinner with a long-time reader of the blog who had travelled all the way from Australia (for different reasons), but didn’t see any friends who live in Chicago.

I confess that I went to the local food co-op this week and bought both kale and chard, because I have turned the corner and, despite being a card-carrying midwestern boy, actually enjoy eating green vegetables. What happened?

I confess that I realized this week, when my mom called to ask if it’d be okay for them to come to Kalamazoo and get dinner with me, that a big part of the reason I don’t make more of an effort to visit home is simply because I dislike the suburban environment.

I confess that I have started using PowerPoint in class, as requested by students, and it doesn’t seem to be all that bad.


April 9, 2010 - Posted by | Friday Afternoon Confessional


  1. I confess I disappointed myself at Ikea this week when I paid for all of my purchases in the self-checkout lane, despite the fact that it was pretty clear that no one would review my purchases or check my receipt. As I said to M at the time, my residual teenage compulsive shoplifter self is completely disgusted. I confess that after completing the checkout process, I momentarily contemplated going back to pocket a small item, just to “keep things even” in some hazy cosmic ledger of resentful entitlement, but even then I knew that I just don’t have it in me anymore.

    Comment by jms | April 9, 2010

  2. I confess that kale has been a complete revelation to me and I wholly approve of Adam’s behaviour.

    Comment by RobDP | April 9, 2010

  3. I confess that I stayed up til 1:30 watching the end of Friday Night Lights Season 4. Oh, Tim Riggins!

    I confess that I usually come up with things that I hate around Friday and things to confess around Tuesday.

    Comment by K-sky | April 9, 2010

  4. I confess I have missed the syllabus of devil class. And I am sure that you confessed to powerpoint twice, you Judas!

    Comment by JoB | April 9, 2010

  5. I confess that all the suggestions I’ve received for things to do in San Francisco have made me feel like we’ll be wasting time any time we’re not “doing something” on vacation.

    I confess to hoping something that I otherwise would have had to deal with happens at work while I’m on vacation. I confess to worrying karma will get me for this hateful wish.

    Comment by Matt in Toledo | April 9, 2010

  6. I confess that I found sealed Reese’s Peanut Butter Eggs sitting in the sun in a parking lot, took them home, put them in the fridge to re-solidify, and then proceeded to eat them a few days later. I confess that I felt a little bit strange, and ate the first one to get a reaction from my housemates. But, as I was eating the second one, I insisted that there was nothing wrong with it because it was sealed in a package.

    I confess that I’m not sure whether I’m right.

    Comment by Dave Mesing | April 9, 2010

  7. I confess that I’ve actually been sick all week, something I would’ve mentioned if I hadn’t pre-written this post on Monday. I’ve gone a couple days each on a variety of slightly overlapping diseases — the start of allergy season transitioned into the flu, which then was replaced by some kind of phlegm issue that has resulted in me losing my voice and deciding it’s more prudent to just wait till tomorrow morning to go to Chicago rather than “powering through” as I’ve been doing all week.

    What’s kind of annoying is that since my default attitude toward sickness is denial, I have actually done all my duties this week — most notably, I didn’t cancel class at all. Now it’s my leisure time that’s suffering.

    Comment by Adam Kotsko | April 9, 2010

  8. I got a check in the mail from my mom for $100 for my birthday. I am poor, so this is big money for me. I haven’t had $20 to spare in years. I couldn’t really think of anything I wanted. I steal all the music I listen to, all the books I read, and all the movies I watch. I’m fine with the clothes I’ve got. My favorite bar never charges me. I get into most shows in Montreal for free, etc. I confess that I feel pretty lame that I bought a dutch oven with the money. I probably should have gotten some pot, even if I probably wouldn’t have smoked much of it.

    That being said, I did cook up some boeuf bourguignon in the dutch oven yesterday and it was like the candy man jizzed in my mouth.

    Comment by Matthew | April 9, 2010

  9. Oh, and Kotsko, fuck you for the title of this post. All day long, bastard.

    Comment by Matthew | April 9, 2010

  10. 9. I didn’t know this was a song, until I just now looked it up.

    I think it is uncontroversial that the best Sunday school song is the Lord said Noah one. Get those animals/ Out of the muddy-muddy!

    A close second is the fuzzy wuzzy bear one.

    Comment by jms | April 9, 2010

  11. I like the “Zacchaeus was a wee little man and a wee little man was he…” one.

    There’s a fuzzy wuzzy song? That one sings in Sunday school? I thought that was a tongue twister.

    Comment by Matthew | April 9, 2010

  12. What about the one about the boxes you’d keep Jesus and the Devil in, respectively?

    Comment by Adam Kotsko | April 9, 2010

  13. That one never sat easy with me. Nor did the “if the devil doesn’t like it he can sit on a tack” one. At five years old I didn’t feel myself quite up to threatening the prince of darkness.

    Comment by Matthew | April 9, 2010

  14., you’re welcome.

    Comment by micah | April 9, 2010

  15. Not a song I learned in Sunday school, but equally disturbing:

    Also, am the only one who was really confused when I realized that many of the songs I learned growing up in Sunday school were actually just lyrics pasted over secular songs? For instance, when I learned that “Pharaoh Pharaoh” was based the song “Louie Louie”, it blew my mind.

    Comment by Jeremy | April 9, 2010

  16. Many of the lyrics in the Southern Baptist hymnals I grew up with were set to old drinking songs. What a bunch of lame-asses.

    Comment by Matthew | April 9, 2010

  17. And now the secular stuff just rips off Christian music. Like Radiohead using the ondes Martenot? Give me a break, Messiaen was using that decades ago.

    Comment by micah | April 9, 2010

  18. Mobb Deep ripping off DC Talk, etc.

    Comment by Matthew | April 9, 2010

  19. Yeah, I read in an interview ODB reference dc talk’s Nu Thang as inspiration for Enter the Wu. God bless Toby Mac.

    Comment by Jeremy | April 9, 2010

  20. Fuzzy wuzzy bear song:

    f I were a butterfly, I’d thank you Lord for giving me wings
    If I were a robin in a tree, I’d thank you Lord that I could sing
    If I were a fish in the sea, I’d wiggle my tail and I’d giggle with glee
    But I just thank you father for making me, me

    For you gave me a heart and you gave me a smile
    You gave me Jesus and you made me your child
    And I just thank you Father for making me, me

    If I were an elephant, I’d thank you Lord by raising my trunk
    If I were a kangaroo, You know I’d hop right up to you
    If I were an octopus, I’d thank you Lord for my fine looks
    But I just thank you Father for making me, me

    For you gave me a heart and you gave me a smile
    You gave me Jesus and you made me your child
    And I just thank you Father for making me, me

    If I were a wiggly worm, I’d thank you Lord that I could squirm
    If I were a fuzzy wuzzy bear, I’d thank you Lord for my fuzzy, wuzzy hair
    If I were a crocodile, I’d thank you Lord for my great smile
    But I just thank you Father for making me, me

    For you gave me a heart and you gave me a smile
    You gave me Jesus and you made me your child
    And I just thank you Father for making me, me

    Again, this song is only second best to the Lord said Noah there’s gonna be a floody floody song.

    Comment by jms | April 10, 2010

  21. today is sunday i have nothing to confess, but i would like to say that i think adam’s dinner with australian blog reader (and lack of socialising with chciago-dwellers) and dave’s chocolate eggs issue are both completely justified/allowable. it was still in the packet!

    Comment by sarah fok | April 11, 2010

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