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Spoiler Alert Thursday

With last week’s digression into ancient TV (“West Wing”–astute viewers may have seen a poster on a bus shelter in the alternate universe of “Fringe” advertising the show in this week’s episode) with its ever-so-insightful conclusion (viz., a close up of Michel Foucault’s 1976 lectures entitled ‘Society Must be Defended’), we can now resume our scheduled escapade into what is actually the finest offerings on “the tube” this past week (and, to a certain extent, the week prior to that).

  • “Supernatural” With both Michael and Lucifer trapped in Hell, Castiel elevated in the ranks of angels (by God, presumably), and Sam (presumably) resurrected as an angel, what is left for the next season? Important questions: will Castiel remain part of the cast? He pulls off the “fish out of water” character much better than Ziva on “NCIS” and possibly better than Cameron on “Sarah Connor Chronicles.” As an aside: I fully intend to integrate to word “assbutt” (what Castiel called Michael before throwing a holy molotov cocktail in his face) into my daily vocabulary. I now listen to AC/DC and Styx because of this show, why not some new words for the vocabulary? Unfortunately, it is hard to incorporate “gank” into daily speech–although I often wish I was in a position whereby I could express and act upon a desire to “gank” this or that. Will Dean (and Sam?) return to hunting regular monsters–like Bobby who went rugaru hunting? Will the mother of Dean’s child and Dean’s child be a part of the show? (Let’s hope not: there is something deeply offensive about any person–male, female or any other gender–with skin that orange and leathery and teeth that glow in the dark. People pay to look like this? Worse: people think this looks good?)
  • “SNL” The “Betty White Episode” was likely the first episode of this show that we’ve watched in years–and only because there was nothing else on at the time. The best part? The first Jay-Z performance. First, “bitch” is censored out; second, he changes to “chick”; third, he says “chick… chick” and, then, when the “SNL” censors lay off, he returns to “bitch.” That was awesome. Seriously: WTF is with Americans and the word “bitch”? On the Ryan Seacrest radio countdown show, that “Sexy Bitch” song is “Sexy Chick.” Americans also seem to have a problem with “weed” and “nigga.” I’m not sure why. As a general rule: if a white person says it, it is racist; if a black person says it, it is not racist. And, worse, if a white person censors a black person saying it, then it is really racist because it isn’t blacks who are being protected from the white person’s racism, but whites who are being protected from their own. Returning to “Sexy Chick,” the line “neighbourhood whore” is unacceptable, but for some reason Jay-Z’s (for instance) line “everybody had a ride on her” is acceptable. Semantically they are equivalent. What is wrong with one but okay with the other? Returning to “SNL”: the show should be reconceived–Bill Hader should just get an hour and a half to do whatever the fuck he wants; everyone else (except, maybe, Will Forte) should be fired. Especially that guy with the curly hair and the big nose and the guy who “reads” the fake news.
  • “Fringe” Alternate-Olivia’s hair was a crime against nature, but her combat fatigues uniform was much better than Olivia’s standard business casual attire; Alternate-Astrid’s hat was awesome.
  • “Big Bang Theory” Judy Greer really only has one character, doesn’t she?
  • “Law & Order” I like it that their forensic technology is stuck in the mid-nineties. Much better than “Law & Order: SVU” (or any other show from the genre).
  • “Law & Order: SVU” Sharon Stone? Seriously? Also, what the dickens is with that supercomputer they have? Olivia types two letters into the system and it comes up with complete property records, including detailed photographs? In the real world, you need someone to do a title search using most of the legal description of the property just to come up with the owner (or vice versa) and, yet, somehow some detective lady can circumvent that entire system with two buttons? Come on! And why wasn’t unStabler hit with multiple bullets when he was in that vent? Way better.
  • “Bones” Seriously? Who–other than myself–watches this garbage?

May 20, 2010 - Posted by | Spoiler Alert Thursdays


  1. “Sexy Chick,” the line “neighbourhood whore”

    That song always cracks me up, in particular the line, “I’m trying to find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful.” Try harder, kid.

    Comment by jms | May 20, 2010

  2. Especially that guy with the curly hair and the big nose and the guy who “reads” the fake news.

    No; yes.

    Comment by k-sky | May 20, 2010

  3. Also, “Archer” is fantastic. I’m loping through Season 1 on Netflix On Demand.

    Comment by k-sky | May 21, 2010

  4. On Bones: my 11-year old is a real fan.

    Comment by Earnest O'Nest | May 21, 2010

  5. I saw a commercial for “Lost” yesterday (a show I don’t watch, clearly) and I said to myself, “Why the fuck is MacGruber in this show?” On that note, I thought the “MacGruber” movie was a joke.

    Comment by Craig McFarlane | May 21, 2010

  6. I’m impressed by what you don’t watch.

    Comment by Earnest O'Nest | May 22, 2010

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