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Friday Afternoon Confessional: Self-healing phones

I confess that, judging from my actions, I believe that my cell phone has some kind of self-healing capacity. The battery has had difficulty holding a charge of late, a problem that I attribute to its habit of fruitlessly seeking out a data connection throughout the day (the new apartment does not get very good a cell phone signal) — a habit that I have discouraged by every setting I can find, but that nonetheless persists. Just now, it beeped at me, asking to be plugged in, when I had unplugged it only a few hours previously. In addition, it is increasingly “freezing up,” for instance when I start the e-mail client.

My solution to these problems is to get angry and do nothing. Why do I take this course of action? Laziness is surely a factor, as is my desire to go a month without an “unexpected expense” for the first time since last summer, but I’ll be honest: deep down, it’s my sense of justice that motivates my inaction. To try to remedy the problem would be to give it some degree of legitimacy, to back down from my completely correct position that the described problems should not be happening — and I just cannot bring myself to do that. The only option is for the phone to start behaving better.

I confess that I’m getting gray hairs in my beard, which are invisible to other people unless pointed out and sometimes even then. I confess that this turn of events sparks in me one of my greatest fears: looking like a pathetic 30-something academic. (I turn 30 next month.) This pathetic creature is skinny, but with a substantial gut, reminiscent of an insect’s thorax; balding in a way that is difficult to cope with gracefully; and going gray in a completely un-“distinguished” way. The baldness issue is probably not a factor given my family history, and I appear to be winning the battle against the gut so far, but my relatively light hair color simply is not compatible with “distinguished”-looking partial gray hair. Instead, it would just look shabby — and in all likelihood, the only solution I could come up with would be to wear a cardigan all the time.

I confess that I need new glasses but don’t want to pay for them. I confess that I need new jeans and a few new short-sleeved shirts and am, in theory, willing to pay for them, but I’m not willing to actually go shopping for them. I confess that when I don’t have cash, I regard it as an unfixable problem because my shitty bank charges me double ATM fees — but then there is an ATM for my bank just a few blocks from me. I confess that I don’t want to go grocery shopping, for all kinds of reasons, even though it only takes a few minutes. I confess that I don’t want to look at my evaluations for last quarter, even though essentially all of my students seemed to really enjoy my classes and one of them (the devil class) was among the most sought-after courses of the quarter — because a handful will probably be bad and those will be the ones I really focus on, etc., etc.

I confess that self-knowledge generally doesn’t seem helpful in the way you’d expect it to be.

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June 25, 2010 - Posted by | Friday Afternoon Confessional

6 Comments

  1. I confess to being disappointed at the lack of comments on the TV posts. Does no one watch TV anymore?! I also confess that contrary to all efforts, once again I will be organizing a presentation the night before I give it.

    Comment by Craig | June 25, 2010

  2. i confess i watch sometimes the football reruns in the evenings, not concentrating on it wholly, but just like some background, the commentators shout goool very funny, they it seems enjoys gols no matter whoever’s it is
    i confess i wondered whether the interior pictures on MMF were the actual pictures of the new summer apartment of AKTG, a nice looking place, i like the shiny black floors, looks like cooling

    Comment by read | June 25, 2010

  3. -s, nda

    Comment by read | June 26, 2010

  4. You saw my bit on glasses, right?

    I confess that I ran a press event on Friday and not an outlet showed up. I confess to some degree of shame and some greater degree of equanimity, re this.

    Comment by k-sky | June 28, 2010

  5. I did not see your bit on glasses.

    Comment by Adam Kotsko | June 28, 2010

  6. See Wednesday Food’s comments.

    Comment by k-sky | June 28, 2010


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