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Tuesday Hatred: Sevenfold Song of Hate

1. At the “market” (a store) the other day (in fact the day on which I write this—but not the day on which you read it) I saw several packages of bread whose packaging prominently announced “SLOW NATURAL FERMENTATION” and also “NO DAIRY / NO GMO / NO YEAST”. How, I wonder, is this possible? (One knows what they mean, of course, but it’s still fucking annoying.) (Lactic acid?)

2. Church parking.

3. When, before a concert or film, some representative of the presenting organization stands up on stage and delivers (usually poorly) a tiresome little spiel about his, her, or the organization’s excitement at the soon-to-take-place whatever, and a little more besides about how it came to be, all of which is of interest to precisely no one who isn’t already familiar with it.

4. How boring people are! I myself not excluded.

5. My forehead is all over pimples.

6. No amount of incompetently applied polish will return these shoes to their former state. Many favored shirts are stained.

7. America is ruled by the vicious.

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February 1, 2011 - Posted by | Tuesday Hatred

11 Comments

  1. 6 reminds me that I don’t hate my neck but I hate what it does to dress shirts.

    Comment by k-sky | February 1, 2011

  2. Jesus christ, this is so fucked up in so many ways.

    Comment by jms | February 1, 2011

  3. (Glad to see you’re returning to the deepest roots of Tuesday Hatred by using an ordinal list. It’s an interesting story….)

    I hate that my plan to fix a hole in the drywall before the property manager brought someone to see the apartment was foiled by the difficulty of matching beige paints. The patch is already in place (needing only finishing touches), but my attempt to have the whole sad incident (where I couldn’t get the key to work in the lock and thus kicked the wall) pass unnoticed by all but me failed. And that: I hate.

    I hate that I kicked the wall in the first place, too. That was ridiculous.

    I hate that bathtubs, after a certain point, become ontologically dingy. Even multiple applications of Soft Scrub cannot prevail.

    I hate how difficult it is to get those bleach bathroom sprays to start, and continue, spraying. I thought it was because I was running out, but the new bottle displayed the same problem from day one.

    Comment by Adam Kotsko | February 1, 2011

  4. i hate when my family is sick

    Comment by read | February 1, 2011

  5. I hate taking a taxi ride to someone’s house at night, only to realise the next morning that I have no cash for public transport, and (since I’m in suburbia) I’m miles from an automated teller machine.

    Comment by Rob L | February 1, 2011

  6. Oh, with regard to no.2 – is it church parking in general that you hate, or that there’s not enough, i.e. you hate the difficulty of finding a good parking spot when attending church?

    Comment by Rob L | February 1, 2011

  7. The existence of church parking. I don’t attend a church myself.

    Comment by ben | February 1, 2011

  8. “Church parking” being a form of double parking which is permissible on Sundays if you’re near a church.

    Comment by ben | February 1, 2011

  9. I hate trying to get my phone out of my jeans pocket while driving. No other simple task in my life causes so much cursing.

    Comment by Willie | February 1, 2011

  10. Ah.

    Comment by Rob L | February 1, 2011

  11. i hope people survive the thundersnow well, here it’s rain and ice, and the new year’s eve which is bound to have blizzards, but from tomorrow it’s nominally the spring and i’ve heard the groundhog Phil agrees the early spring is coming
    i’d hate if it means a hotter summer

    Comment by read | February 2, 2011


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