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Friday Afternoon Confessional: Delusions of Grandeur

I confess to suffering from delusions of grandeur. I know this because the belief that I will single-handedly change the course of world history is at the same time a belief that I have and a belief that I know is irrational. These delusions may well be the root cause of my attempting to construct sentences that are both too long and too complex. Anyway, I’m trying to compensate for it as it hinders me in conveniently getting through most of the days. It is not an easy thing to compensate for. The best I have come up with to date is to work out this philosophical system in which everybody single-handedly changes the course of world history. I’m sure you’ll hear from it eventually.

I confess I do not know whether I have explained myself well.

I confess that amidst all this theorizing and suffering, my chief occupation during this past week-end was The Youngest Kid’s birthday party. There was no vomiting and only a limited amount of dramatic exits. Notwithstanding the fact that there was almost no physical aggression and that all invited children liked the cake I had proposed to buy (there’s only one true fact according to my grammatical intuition), my memory of this occasion is not a happy one. I missed most of the cycling.

I finally confess that I am writing this on Monday evening for reasons of being otherwise occupied during the rest of the week. Still, I am already convinced that at the time this is published my past week-end will have been the best 2 days of the 7-day period between this and the last Friday Afternoon Confessional.


May 13, 2011 - Posted by | boredom, Friday Afternoon Confessional


  1. I confess to having been looking at a diff file of a diff file, and to having thought “I bet this is something Ben likes/would like” (despite not ever having met Ben, or, so far as I know, anyone else who turns up here).

    Comment by Hugh | May 13, 2011

  2. As I said I would earlier in the week, I confess to committing the deadly sin of sloth when I looked at my lawn which desperately needed cut. Maybe I’ll say some Apostle’s Creeds while I cut it tomorrow.

    I confess that when I’m the first commenter on a post at this site and that post’s comments do not flourish, I feel as if I have committed conversational murder.

    I confess I only ran three miles this week when I should have run more like 10-12. (I confess to hoping that doesn’t sound like a humblebrag.) Finally, I confess to sometimes prioritizing Words with Friends above work while I’m being paid to work.

    Comment by Matt in Toledo | May 13, 2011

  3. i confess i often enjoy things afterwards, like travel, parties, meetings, so if you feel you didn’t enjoy much your youngest kid’s burthday after some time it would seem to you that it was a very nice and pleasant party, maybe the last paragraph of the post says so
    i confess my delusions of grandeur don’t have any relations with the world history changes, but assume that everybody is almost like me with some, sure, deviations :)
    the conviction which MiT’s confession about murdered threads confirms like nicely

    Comment by read | May 13, 2011

  4. I confess that reading a diff of a diff sounds horrifying but also kind of neat and that I wouldn’t really mind if someone took over the Tuesday Hatred. I confess that my office desk is covered in coffee cups.

    Comment by ben | May 13, 2011

  5. I confess that the “Gladiator Rock’n’Run” that I confessed to trepidation about last Friday turned out to be a mellow, fun affair. I had feared that the whole thing would be populated by twenty-four-year-olds with bellies and goatees who like to howl a lot, but it was actually a diverse, goofy crowd, though younger and fitter than I. I confess that my knee started to hurt after jogging half a mile.

    I confess to disappointment that NBC didn’t pick up “Wonder Woman,” because even though it didn’t look altogether good, I have a writing sample that would have been good to submit for it.

    I confess to a near-complete lack of faith in my chances for employment in the TV world this staffing season.

    Comment by Josh K-sky | May 13, 2011

  6. Parties never are fun. I hate them, although not so much on Tuesdays. But they are always better than running, certainly if that running is counted in miles.

    I confess to feeling anxiety that this will be the last comment on this post.

    Bon courage avec that pelouse.

    Comment by Guido Nius | May 13, 2011

  7. i confess i hate my coworker’s habit to pull his latex glove and make a flapping noise, it serves no any meaningful purpose imo, or how he walks dragging his feet, just slippers and they make noise, i would almost prefer if the noise was sharper or louder or something
    and sure i don’t show any annoyance to these disturbances that makes them even more annoying i guess

    Comment by read | May 13, 2011

  8. Just imagine he likes making flapping noises when covered in latex. Annoyances are anyway best kept private. I confess that that is my preferred way of annoying others.

    Comment by Guido Nius | May 14, 2011

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