Spoiler Alert Thursday
A mixed bag this week. On the one hand, the fourth season of “True Blood” ended and it was great. On the other hand, Spartacus died and that obviously was not so great.
The good news: TARA IS DEAD with a shotgun blast to the fucking face! Yes! (Although “True Blood” does have “meta” tendencies and Arlene went out of her way to note that “zombies are the new vampires.”) More good news: Russell will be back in the fifth season having been released from his concrete and silver tomb. It isn’t clear who did it, but given that there is nothing worse in this world than a scorned Prada-loving vampire, a good bet is on Pam. After all, she’s the only person other than Eric and Bill who knows where Russell was buried. (The only other plausible answer is that it was one of Nan’s enemies in the AVL/Authority.) And another person is back: Steve Newlin! And now he’s a vampire! (Or is he just being hilarious?) I wonder who turned him and why he suddenly showed up at Jason’s door? And, finally, Bill and Eric are ultra-violent and best friends. They killed Nan and her two guards because Nan figured out that Sookie was a fairy on the basis of her “microwave hands.” Before her death, she made reference to factions in the AVL and The Authority who wanted Eric and Bill to meet the True Death and suggested that Eric knew what she was talking about; Bill appeared oblivious to this. In my view, rather than having Russell “kill Bill” and Eric, it would great if the three teamed up in some way to tear a new in The Authority. The three had a good dynamic in the third season, even if Eric killed Talbot, which is unforgivable because Talbot was great.
Oh, it was amusing when Maxine was the only person to show up at Tommy’s funeral, especially when she said to Sam that he can call her mommy because they are family now.
The bad news: Debbie and Jesus, who both grew on me during the course of the season, are now both dead. While Rene came back as a spirit to warn Arlene (which was good), he intimated that Terry was about to have a complete psychotic breakdown on account of Noel from “Felicity” (who Terry thought was dead–and is dead, but Terry didn’t know he was a spirit, of course) showing up and having a chat with him. Terry has one of the best characters in the show, it would be stupider than mainstreaming fairies to ruin him. Not that I’m out to see tit on TV, but it was pretty lame that Jessica strategically hid her nipple when taking a pounding from Jason. Who the fuck hides their boobs when getting the time from Jason? Especially if they are a newly born libertine like Jessica. After all, we have to put up with Sookie’s boobs bouncing all over the place–couldn’t we change the view from time to time?
We made the error of watching the “Ringer” pilot. Apparently it was supposed to be “good.” After all, it won some MTV award for most anticipated new series or some-such. Does the average CW viewer even know who Buffy is? Does it matter? The commercials suggested that this show would completely suck and, let me tell you, it did! The boat scene was especially bad. Anyone remember that episode of “Friends” when Joey buys a boat and Rachel tries to teach him how to sail? Remember how fake it looked? Apparently fake boating scenes have not improved since 1997. In fact, the Joey buys a boat scene is far more convincing than the Buffy goes sailing scene: at least I believe that at least once in his life Joey may have been near water. I can’t say the same about Buffy: even though she seems to jump in the water, I’m not convinced that she actually got wet. Further, the scenes with Russ/Ross or Phoebe/Ursula in “Friends” were far more convincing than the Bridget/Siobhan scenes in “Ringer.” This is “Combat Hospital” level of bad. I hope “The Secret Circle” is better! But, if Buffy couldn’t save “Ringer,” than what chance do we have that John Connor will save “The Secret Circle”? Oh, and the constant comments about Bridget being so much thinner than Siobhan were absolutely hilarious.
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