Spoiler Alert Thursday
If it weren’t for “Hart of Dixie” and “Unforgettable,” “Ringer” would easily be the worst new TV show. Somehow this season is especially bad: absolute crap everywhere! What happened to the “golden age of TV” ushered in by the success of “high quality dramas” on cable? I “live tweeted” “Hart of Dixie” this week. Apparently my attempts to “twitter-troll” fans of the show didn’t work. I even called the town is set in “BlueBalls” and said that as a setting it was so unbelievable that it made Star’s Hollow look realistic! Remember how I mentioned R-Bils saying that the “medical” aspects of the show were really hard for her to get? That it is serious acting and she had to use Bing! to figure it out? Well, apparently she–and the writers–forgot to “bing!” the idea of doctor-patient confidentiality. One scene has the patient saying, “I know about doctor-patient confidentiality! I watch TV!” to which R-Bils says, “I won’t tell anyone if you promise to take care of yourself.” R-Bils/writers: that’s not how it works. But whatever. And, I assume, that she’d had to take some sort of licensing test to move her practice from New York to Mississippi or Alabama or Georgia or whatever -accent-that-is-supposed-to-be-state. Not on this “realistic” medical drama! And, seriously, what’s with that girl that follows R-Bils around? Wish someone threw her off the float. Another great line: “Your breath smells like generic beer.” That’s what R-Bils says to one of her two prospective love interests–recall: no on in this town likes her one bit, but all the boys want to get inside her cooch!–he’s later shown drinking Bud or Coors or some such. Definitely not grocery store brand, but whatever.
I’d say something sarcastic about “Ringer,” but what’s the point? Ratings are down significantly since last week, but since when do ratings matter on the CW when all of your shows get between a 0.6 and a 0.8? On the topic of ratings, we mistakenly watched–and have since regretted doing so–about three minutes of “Whitney.” (a) talk about repulsive people; (b) talk about an absolutely unfunny show. Speaking of “Whitney,” ratings, and unfunny, we also mistakenly watched “The New Girl.” Talk about (a) repulsive people and (b) absolute unfunnyness. Now, if I understand the premise, Bones’s sister is supposed to be–like Bones–hopeless and clueless. Yet, in the fit of her deepest depression after breaking up with a cheating boyfriend, she is able to have a very “cool” haircut (complete with bangs) and wear designer clothing–except when setting up a joke by putting her in overalls. The fuck? And the guy who has to put money in that jar all the time, I thought he was supposed to be gay! The fuck?
Speaking of “the fuck?” “Unforgettable” remains “Unwatchable” and “Unmentionable.” What more is there to say?
With respect to CW shows that don’t suck, being a week since I saw the episode, I don’t really remember “The Secret Circle,” but I don’t remember hating it. I still think that John Connor should focus on anti-Terminator tactics rather than lame magic, but maybe magic will work out as a good way to fight the machines when they rise. Who knows. I can’t stand the main/good girl from “Life Unexpected,” Cassie I think she is called, but I still like the mean/bad girl, Faye I think she is called. The other members of The Circle remain rather forgettable. “Supernatural” continues to be quite good. In terms of narrative, it is a significant departure from previous seasons: last year’s season finale has run continuously through the first two episodes. In previous seasons the passage of time was rather unmarked. You couldn’t tell if it was the next day, the next week or the next month. If they had just been boozing and whoring in between episodes, doing laundry, or took out a nest of vamps. The next episode, on Friday, picks up where we last left off with Sam and Dean in an ambulance on their way to the hospital that the Leviathans have set up as their base of operations. (You see, one of the Leviathans, watching TV, learnt that “Doctor Sex-ies” can harvest organs without filling out any paperwork and Leviathans love to eat fresh organs. The Leviathan goes to the hospital, finds a doctor, and asks him, “Are you a Doctor Sexy?” Very funny: refers back to a previous episode where it is revealed that Dean’s favourite show is “Doctor Sexy, M.D.”–a play on “Grey’s Anatomy,” obviously–and where they end up in an alternate reality based upon TV shows and Dean becomes a “Doctor Sexy” himself.) Anyway, shit sucks for the Winchesters: Sam is out cold, Dean’s leg is broken, they are actually going to a hospital to treat their wounds, the hospital is controlled by the Leviathans, Castiel is dead, Bobby is missing, and Bobby’s house–with all their lore and weapons–is burnt down.
Finally, “Dexter” is back. Perhaps I am biased because I liked “Battlestar Galactica,” but already I think that Admiral Adama is nearly tied with Trinity as the best villain. This is also a narrative departure from previous seasons of the show. We don’t normally see the killer until, at best, halfway through the season. This year we get the killer in the second scene. Dexter going to his high school reunion was fun, although I don’t really understand what a high school reunion is. Angel’s attempt to explain Jesus and God and the crucifix to Dexter was very funny. Did they really have to go with Colin Hanks as Adama’s disciple? I hate Tom Hanks; ergo, I hate Colin Hanks.
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