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Tuesday Hatred from Sunday to Monday (backwards, as always)

My life is so hideous and boring right now that only a Lars Von Trier could capture its lack of essence on film. My hideous nothingness would be best rendered if viewers felt socially compelled not to walk out, so it has to be thé Lars Von Trier.

I hate cliffhangers. They bring out the worst in writers.  Characters who were passed off for years as incorruptible turn out to be the root of all evil but manage to redeem themselves as heroes in the last instant. It’s all so biblical that I think the best treatment for writers of cliffhangers is to hang them from cliffs and then not continue the series in the next year.

As far as 50′ detective stories goes, The Family was for a long time on a strict All You Can Eat diet. It didn’t even bother us too much that the same scenario (inspired by the same lobbyists or product placers) was used across all of the formats. It is not uncommon to enjoy a same dish over and over again provided it is well made.

The cliffhanger thing is however spoiling the Family’s fun. Luckily in Europe we are mostly spared the non-suspense of the lead actors not fucking or the lead nemesis not actually being shot. Unfortunately this reveals the whole ridiculousness of a dramatic high point which is not at two thirds of a viewing but at the end of it.

I confess that, ridiculous or not, it is mostly impossible for us to live without the closure on the other end of a cliffhanger.  The empirical fact that it is never either creative or surprising has little influence on the desire to know the outcome. It is not the cliffhanger episode that finally spoils it but the resolution episode. Such is the tragedy of one-too-many.

Let me provide The Weblog story with a cliffhanger: I might happen to be in Evanston in one of the next months. Would Kotsko, Adam feel that my being there provides a sufficiently ‘sincere’ reason for using the corresponding L-stop?


October 25, 2011 - Posted by | television, Tuesday Hatred


  1. I hate when my wife is out of town for work. I hate that my big dog has a hurt disc in his back (though he’s on the mend) and that my smaller dog has some sort of skin condition that’s causing him to gnaw at himself. The former is being taken care of with anti-inflammatories and pain medication.

    The latter got so bad yesterday that he had blood visible on his fur when I got home from work. We have him scheduled for a vet appointment tomorrow, but the situation didn’t seem to be able to wait for that. Our vet recommended taping socks to his paws to prevent scratching, but he’s also gnawing at the trouble spots. My (brilliant) solution? Put one of my tightest fitting undershirts on him. That way, even if the scratches – the gnawing should be impossible – he won’t be making contact with the sores and rubbing them raw. I just hope he doesn’t go all Hulkamania on my undershirt before I get home.

    I hate TV editing of R-rated movies. I made the ill-advised attempt to watch “I Love You, Man” and it was even more ill-advised because it was edited for TV. So something that was “bullshit” became “bullshirt”. Seriously. There’s a scene where Jason Segel doesn’t pick up his dog’s poop* and when a guy steps in it, he yells at Segel to pick up his dog’s shirt. I couldn’t make this up.

    *incidentally, if you want me to be sympathetic to a character, don’t have him refuse to pick up dog poop on a crowded walkway. Not picking up after your dog is nearly inexcusable.

    Comment by Matt in Toledo | October 25, 2011

  2. I hate the taste and smell of vitamins.

    Comment by jms | October 25, 2011

  3. Stephen Hawking was here! Respect for the guy doesn’t change the fact that his world tour looks like a bad avant-garde musical on the universe, that doesn’t go beyond first grade stuff mixed in with some new age sweeteners for the kids.

    Comment by Guido Nius | October 26, 2011

  4. i hate that my hatred seems to grow until it is uncontainable and alienates even the most seasoned haters, namely my significant other, whose capacity for hate i once thought larger than my own. my hatred alienates him, and his alienation alienates me, which fuels the other, darker hate of self-hatred. i also hate the taste of vitamins – my brand is assuringly called ‘just once’.

    Comment by Jaimie Johansson (@plsbequietpls) | October 26, 2011

  5. I hate this world pooulatiion growth thing. I don’t take issue so much with birth rates, the issue us a lack of death rate. Please, people, 80 years is enough!

    Comment by Guido Nius | October 26, 2011

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