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Monday Movies Has Our Own Advertising Slogan: “Try Us. We’re Delicious.”

The contestants for Miss World Virginity are Miss Rhodesia, a slender white brunette; Miss Congo, a tall black woman around whose hips is draped a string of bananas; and Miss Canada, a delicate raven-haired white woman from whose crotch radiates a glow so holy that Dr. Littlefinger’s pelvic exam is immediately moot. As the chosen victor, Miss Canada will marry the son of the contest’s hostess, the world’s most eligible bachelor, Mr. Kapital, who plans to dry out Niagara Falls and landscape it. “So now I have acquired a lady of the house,” declares Mr. Kapital to the crowd at his home before walking his new bride inside. “A personal jewel… but above all… a purified sanitation system for unchecked waste!”

Sweet Movie (Dusan Makavejev, 1974) is a tapestry of violent excess bubbling up and boiling down, a Bataillan orgy of glorious human filth and systemic violence. We happened upon it while scrolling all the way through Hulu Plus’s Criterion Collection channel. It looked weird and fun. We got more than we bargained for. NSFW images below the fold.

The terrible surprise of Miss World's honeymoon

Anna Planeta, captain of the ship

Miss Canada, sent packing to Paris

Seduction of a young passenger

Moments later, she stabs him in the sugar bed

Carol Laure reportedly quit the film after this sequence

The chocolate dance

There are two sequences that don’t have images available on the Web. One is intercut documentary film footage from the exhuming of the Katyn forest massacre, where the Polish officer corps was exterminated by Stalin’s NKVD during WWII. The other is an orgiastic romp by the company — it put me in mind of von Trier’s Idiots and their gang-bang — that features scenes of defecation, adults nursing, vomiting, and more urination. A man whips out a giant phallus made (obviously) of some foodstuff and slices pieces off for the party to eat; after he finishes, Miss Canada fishes out his small, real uncircumcised penis from his pants and rubs it gently over her face, her eyes vacant or sad.

Most of these images were things I never wanted to see, and would have dismissed if you’d have told me what I was in for. I am glad I went into knowing nothing. Knowing what I’ve told you, would you watch this? You should. It was fascinating all the way through.


The League of Gentlemen (Basil Dearden, 1960) is a diverting heist film in which a British colonel, made redundant, rounds up a group of military men and proposes that, faced with the precision and discipline of a talented corps of British army veterans, a bank’s vaults would be helpless. Ocean’s 11 meets The Bridge on the River Kwai. It’s a twistless trifle with a funny little button. Their plan goes off without a hitch, but they are brought low by as peculiar a Britishism as the boarding-school chumminess with which they plan and execute the heist: a young boy in the hobby of writing down license plates of unusual cars notes the colonel’s plates and turns them in to the coppers.

What did you see, and what did you think about it?


November 7, 2011 - Posted by | Monday Movies | ,


  1. I have known of Sweet Movie for years, I doubt I will get around to watching it.

    11/02/11 – Eien no Hito – Kinoshita 1961 9/10
    29 years of a very bad marriage between rural villagers Hideko Takamine and Tatsuyo Nakadai;flamenco soundtrack with lyrics commenting on action
    11/04/11 – Chinmoku – Shinoda 1971 7/10 7/10
    Xtian missionaries ~1540 Japan;”Japan is a swamp that poisons every import trying to take root”;decent on caritas and unselfishness as a source of corruption;smart methods of totalitarianism
    11/06/11 – Haha O Kowazuya – Ozu 1935 6/10
    lesser Ozu, missing the 1st and last reels which framed the family melodrama in a spiral of economic decline
    11/06/11 – I the Executioner – Tai Kato 1968 9/10
    This has an explicit extended rape-murder before opening credits;sincere sympathy for a serial-killer, more crime thriller than exploitation; issues of economic class; this was by far the most interesting movie on cinematic and visual grounds; action, like conversations, 20-30 feet away from the camera; a five minute static camera takes;Chieko Basho on her way to becoming Shochiku’s star nurture-virgin

    Theatre attendance feel through the floor in the mid-sixties and the studios all moved to genre and niche production;art film was a niche;family movies;yakuza movies, and yes pink eiga sexploitation…but forty years of craft and history and directorial independence remained

    Book finished: David Bordwell on Hong Kong cinema; I need me some Johnnie To

    Comment by bob mcmanus | November 7, 2011

  2. I watched Crazy Stupid Love with my wife over the weekend. She had seen it with a friend and bought it because she enjoyed it. It’s hard not to, as it has pretty good humor and literally everybody in the movie is treated sympathetically, except for maybe the babysitter’s parents. I did have a couple of beefs, though.

    First of all, where was this posh little suburb these people were living in? Judging by the interconnectivity of the cast (there are two “shocking revelations” of how characters are connected) and the number of sets in the movie, it seemed like a tiny little town consistingly only of upper middle class housing, a school, a mall and a trendy bar that was magically full of beautiful people. Secondly, there is a scene where everybody who’s a male in the movie finds out where they fit in relation to everyone else in the movie and none of the males are happy about it. Multiple fights break out and it was just a little too farcical compared to the rest of the movie. Oh, and finally, Steve Carrell busted out the Michael Scott far too much for my liking.

    Last thought. If I were a movie star and I noticed I was getting a little flabby, I would just say to my agent, “Get me a film where I have to be in ridiculously good shape.” After all, what better way to get into shape than a personal trainer and a seven (or eight) figure movie deal?

    Comment by Matt in Toledo | November 7, 2011

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