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Spoiler Alert Thursday

We have really reached the dregs of the television season: the “Christmas Episode” of “NCIS,” a seemingly Halloween themed episode of “Unforgettable,” and, of course, the most recent episode of “Dexter.”

“Unforgettable” ought to be “Unmentionable,” so I won’t.

As always, the “Christmas Episode” of “NCIS” is by far the worst episode of the year–easily worse than the “Thanksgiving Episode.” The story was dumb and like I could give a fuck about Tony’s inability to commit or yet another plot about an American being knocked up by some Afghan tribal prince and an attempt to abduct the mother and/or baby. Because “NCIS” seems dead (anyone even remember the season-arc conspiracy?!), I’ve started a rumour which has not yet been picked up on. A spin-off with a backdoor pilot/two-night-TV-event that will be called “Toby’s Tales” or “The Fornell Files” because the only character that doesn’t totally suck on “NCIS” is the rarely seen FBI agent Tobias Fornell.

It turns out that the “big reveal” by the psychologist was not that Dexter is a psychopath but that Deb is in love with Dexter. It seems like an especially cruel storyline for Deb given that Michael C. Hall left Jennifer Carpenter for Julia Styles–now Deb has to be secretly in love with the character played by her ex-husband? Unlike Adam, I’m glad that Angel is still alive. I like the pairing of sad-sack Angel with self-destructive Quinn. Will Dexter or Angel just outright kill Masuka’s “intern”? My fear, of course, is that the intern will be kept for next season and “be the villain.”

After making a “Hipster Jon Snow” joke and referring to “Damn It Feels Good to be A Lannister” in the waiting area at the vet yesterday, I think we’ve resolved to re-watch the series this week. Just as “winter is coming” in Westeros, winter is also theoretically coming here in central Canada–other than that it is pouring rain and eleven degrees today.

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December 15, 2011 - Posted by | Spoiler Alert Thursdays

8 Comments

  1. So I guess I Hate My Teenage Daughter is the worst TV program ever made.

    Comment by voyou | December 15, 2011

  2. The sexual fantasy scene was perhaps the worst in the entire series. At this point, I’m starting to understand Craig’s aesthetics more — I’m planning on watching the final episode simply to see how horribly they fuck it up.

    Comment by Adam Kotsko | December 16, 2011

  3. Don’t forget: Dexter has a contract for another two seasons and Dexter is the executive producer. So long as Showtime is willing to air the seasons, we have another twenty to twenty-two episodes to go.

    Comment by Craig | December 16, 2011

  4. Can they at least kill Quinn? I mean, throw me a bone!

    Comment by Adam Kotsko | December 16, 2011

  5. I have no idea on the status of his contract.

    Comment by Craig McFarlane | December 16, 2011

  6. In high school, I had ferocious crushes on the woman who played the pregnant soldier on NCIS. It wasn’t entirely unrequited — there were a few stolen kisses at cast parties, and she gave me enough of a green light before losing interest the second time around for me to screw up my relationship with my senior year girlfriend.

    The first of the crushes, in tenth grade, also fizzled, but not before her boyfriend prior, the high school quarterback, walked up to me in the hallway and saying, “Do you like Er/n? THEN FUCK HER!” Which I did not.

    Comment by Josh K-sky | December 16, 2011

  7. They must’ve had a barf bucket handy so Deb could throw up between takes this episode. What a humiliatingly stupid plotline. I never liked the character, but no one deserves this shit.

    Comment by Adam Kotsko | December 19, 2011

  8. Given that Michael C. Hall is a producer of “Dexter,” he must really hate his ex-wife to make Deb go through this “quasi-incest” arc. But, because Deb has a sad-sack fourteen year old girl’s crush on her brother, she won’t turn him in for the murder. I can’t recall: does Deb know that Dexter killed ITK?

    Theory: that loser computer guy (1) knows that Dexter is ITK’s brother; (2) suspects that Dexter is likewise a serial killer; and (3) will figure out that Deb is protecting Dexter. Why didn’t Angel just shoot that guy?

    Comment by Craig McFarlane | December 19, 2011


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