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Tuesday Hatred of death

I hate death. Reports on it are mostly about other people. In that respect it doesn’t differ too much from life. Anyway, death is a real nuisance.You may want it but as far as you know only others actually get it. And in them getting it, it will be you who needs to deal with it. Do you go to the funeral? Or do you break your break from the church rituals by attending the mass the evening before?

If you do attend either the funeral or the mass you will have to face the situation which dwarfs all other situations in awkwardness: to hug or not to hug.You hug and cause offense because the one you hugged was just dressed for the occasion because it is her or his profession to attend such occasions. You don’t hug and cause a family vendetta because you confirm your aloofness, even in the situation of all situations that doesn’t allow you to express any personal characteristic whatsoever. Let alone aloofness.

So I don’t attend and find a pretext to stay away unless the stakes are too high. I am safe when the stakes are high enough as it will be fully acceptable for my behavior to be erratic in that case. But when are stakes high enough to be too high to allow being absent? It’s yet another question for which there can be no algorithm and for which any heuristics will lack input to train them on.

The simple solution is not to die. I frankly admire the heroic benevolence of all these people who do anything to keep on living. In the worst case everybody forgot about them by the time they die trying to stay alive. Personally, I’m neither heroic nor benevolent so I’ll chicken out by dying early. Don’t worry, I won’t leave word; I’ll focus on leaving an inheritance. It’s not like The Children won’t be growing up in a society where an inheritance is the best way to ensure their social security.


March 6, 2012 - Posted by | observational humor, Tuesday Hatred


  1. I hate that if I had two readers less I would not have any readers at all. At least I have a comment, even if I am writing it myself.

    Comment by Guido Nius | March 7, 2012

  2. On the subject of both hatred and funerals, I hate that the speaker at my grandfather’s funeral prepared for it about as much I prepared for book reports in high schools. I hate also that the best parts of his speech were copied from the obituary (which I wrote). Furthermore, I hate that he repeated three of the same platitudes in THE SAME SENTENCE (“rod had a great work ethic and he was a hard worker…he was all about work ethic”). I understand the difficulties of speaking about a person you didn’t know, but he gets paid to do it!

    I think I may be the third reader – I check the weblog every day, and read with relish guido’s posts.

    Comment by ~ (@plsbequietpls) | March 7, 2012

  3. @2: you know, that’ll make my day. I mean it, I really do.

    Comment by Guido Nius | March 8, 2012

  4. I read! I just don’t always hate.

    Comment by Josh K-sky | March 8, 2012

  5. It’s just so hard t quantify hatred; I guess I hate that. No good hating the inevitable but great to hate that which demeans it.

    Comment by grackle | March 8, 2012

  6. Yes, I had hates written up a couple times, but each was lame so I decided against posting.

    Comment by Matt in Toledo | March 9, 2012

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