Friday Afternoon Confessional
I confess I have completely annihilated anything like a writing habit. At my blogging peak, I would get up at 5:30 to get a daily blog post in before I had to get ready for work. Oftentimes, I’d also stay up until 11:00 – or much, much later – working on another post. It didn’t earn me a lot of readers, but it earned me a lot of respect in my little niche blogging community. It even got me a few paying gigs for pieces in publications I could point out to my family at the bookstore.
Two or three years of that kind of pace wore on me, though. I peeled back my commitment and eventually the writing pretty much stopped. Right now, FAC is my only regular writing exercise. I confess this is frustrating because I have three or four projects bouncing around in my head that have made it known they will only go away when I put them down on paper. Sometimes when I’m running, I’ll outline these projects in my head or have an idea about them that gets me excited. I confess when I get home and go to commit some time to the project, I’m all too willing to set it aside for whatever distraction pops up.
Sit down at computer. “Okay, here we go. I need a good hook for the first sentence.”
From downstairs, “Honey!? Did the dogs get their heartworm medication?”
“Not unless you gave it to them.” What a stupid thing to say. Of course she didn’t give it to them. Silence. Resume typing.”If your eye is drawn to the outfield wall of Comerica Park…”
“Well, are you going to give it to them?”
Inaudible sigh. “Sure.” Oh shoot. They also need dog food. And the cats need litter. Crap. I better go to the pet store. Sleep Mac, sleep.
And so it goes. I confess I often resort to shaming myself about this procrastination online to try to motivate myself. I confess it doesn’t work very well, though, as evidenced by the fact that I’ve probably confessed about this very problem in the past. To be perfectly honest, I may be optimistic to call this procrastination at this point. Procrastination implies the task will eventually be completed, and I’ve lost confidence that is the case.
I confess I went out with a group of six to see Jim Gaffigan on Saturday. After the performance, I mentioned that I was now even more excited to see Louis CK in October. One of the people in my group said “That’s the guy we saw in Atlanta and I don’t think we laughed one time. I was like, ‘Is this even supposed to be funny?'” I confess my esteem of this person plummeted after this comment. This, after all, was a dick move. I obviously enjoy Louis CK and I had just said I was excited to see him next month. Maybe it was an invitation for a discussion of why/whether he was funny but it was said in such a way that it felt impossible to contradict her without being more confrontational than I cared to be.
I confess I opted to let it slide and later confirmed with my wife that this was indeed a jerky thing for this person to say. I confess I’m often okay with people being jerks and assholes as long as I can get confirmation from other witnesses that it was indeed the other person being a jerk/asshole.
What about you good reader? Is your to do list growing at an alarming rate while you give priority to eliminating items from your DVR? Are you tormented by tasks whose completion only concern one person in the world? Perhaps if you confess them, you will feel better. Or maybe you found yourself being a jerk to somebody for no good reason. Allow us to be the ones who let you get that off your chest. If you like we can confirm that yes, indeed you were a jerk. Regardless of your beef with yourself, confess.
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