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Tuesday Hatred of a whole Internet of Things

I hated people who have time to do this:

Now I am one of them.

And not particularly good at it either. With advance apologies to all fine people putting their passion into this IoT thing, at least they’re taking action in something and it’s taking action that counts.

Still, all this talk about fridges talking to cars on where they are located such that the car can summon the phone of a repair guy who can hold the phone in the right way for the troubleshooting SW to tell the fridge to reset (and if that doesn’t work tell the phone to get repair guy to push the reboot button) is kind of lame. Not that it wouldn’t be cool (except maybe if you are the kind of repair guy who wouldn’t take advantage of being let into a home because his phone tells someone’s door to open on account of the fridge telling the door that: “It’s O-Kay” on some fancy super-secretly encrypted protocol). It just seems a lot of fuzz over manipulating things where in principle one would think that it’s somewhat more interesting to work with what actual people do.

At the very least what I got out of this post is that I managed to write a paragraph where a majority of words are bracketed (but there is more on the core of the issue, for those who still practice the slowly disappearing art of suspending judgment).

Anyway, I mean it.

It is not enough that innovation (that travesty of a word that takes creation and rapes it with a dollar sign) needs to be dumbed down so your ‘grandma’ can understand it (as if grandma’s per definition are too stupid to deal with a set of equations or something; let me leave that hatred for another Tuesday) but now it has to be about dumb things as well! I mean, it’s aggravating enough to provoke the use of exclamation marks!!! (this might have been an attempt at parody but, if so, I remain in plausible deniability)

Let’s forget about fridges and cars and smart power meters (the idea that some measuring device could be smart is just dumb enough to attract investors who are as intelligent as the stereotypical grandma & unfortunately stupid enough to perpetuate that type of sexist remarks based on prejudice).

Man, I have a lot of hatred in me today. Can’t even get myself to type a smiley behind these sentences.

Let’s forget about things and think about human beings for a change. For instance this lady who is attending a course and makes a thoroughly break-through remark on the philosophy of probability. Her professor is in awe and duly makes note of it, then shrugs it off because: what are the odds? Later she, the professor that is (said in passing to those sincerely believing stupid grandma’s should be the judge of technological novelty), realizes how to put the break-through idea to work and, whilst managing to retrieve the note, is unable to associate the action to the student. For purposes of dramatic effect, let’s further imagine the lady student commits suicide before she sees her professor promising the reward attached to her scientific award to ‘that student who took the action to make such a remark and whom she is ashamed to admit to have forgotten’. Wouldn’t it be noble if that remark could have been recorded in the web of actions actual intelligent human beings undertake and that, bit by bit, make it possible to create some nobility of mind.

Far fetched? Sure! But an Internet of Actions certainly makes for more entertaining thought experiments than an Internet of Things does. That said I’m sure that this is too complex to be a trend in anything and, instead, the dollars will prefer to chase the following simplistic ideas:

After all if the fridge can be as intelligent as the human being and we can ‘wire up’ fridges then finally we find a way to ‘wire up’ the human beings to the couple of master minds who share (#Piketty) more good luck than our lady student (& on average this includes a good inheritance and a low effective tax rate).

Luckily there is some level of (academic and individual) independence going on. People willing to make fools of themselves at dinner parties & in blog posts (yes, after 700 words or so I feel perfectly confident to hint at myself being both independent and intelligent) to say stuff that is both unfashionable, complex and easily dismissed as contrarian frustration. Like this:

Meanwhile, the real Internet of Things already exists and used to be called Information Technology (IT). That name became a little worn out so some genius added a little ‘o’ to make it fancy again. Let’s hope that the actual people passionate about it (not IT but IoT, I need to make some lame jokes in order to get this post to the 1000 words I set out to produce) that they get a chance to (referring to the next tweet)

… avoid the former and realize the latter.

Although it will be hard because the investors in IoT’ing fridges, phones, meters and repair guys are fundamentally not interested in making your life easier. They are, like in IT, more interested in making their own lives more secure and cosy.

If you doubt this, just check how much of your favorite web technology you at least started out using for free. Still doubting? Look at the SW you’re using and which (OK, I’ll help: think Microsoft) started out by costing money before you could use it.

So, yeah, I can embed tweets in a wordpress post. Not too shabby, even if I say so myself. And only 50 words shy of a 1000 before the present sentence. WordPress (which always was free, by the way) is awesome and one of the awesomest things in wordpress is the “word count” feature. That and embedding tweets. Two more. Done.

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September 9, 2014 - Posted by | innovative technologies that shape our lives, shameless self-promotion, torture, Tuesday Hatred | , ,

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