Tuesday Hatred: I am as much one of us as I am one of them
There is only one thing more stupid still than computers are: people who believe that algorithms can outsmart people. They may even see contradiction lurking in the previous sentence. That is what a lack of imagination can do to us. It makes us ignore the data and see everything bigly (probably how a pig would see it). The stress in artificial intelligence is on artificial, where intelligence itself is one and all art.
We should feel very strongly about this because it’s about us. The modern shamanism of technology has it that analytics can be predictive where it obviously can only be reactive. Algorithms do not create a single quark of novelty except by introducing the haphazard. They do not listen but just repeat so you eat your own cake over and over again until your mind is fat and lazy – zero hazard involved.
Once they stuffed us full of our own bigotry, Facebook and Google will wash their hands in innocence. It’s our stupidity, not theirs. That’s right. Wing it, you evangelists of superior complexity, who make us horny on bits, byting into the Apple of money. Wing it, by being right in creating a prophecy we can’t but fulfill playing back our stupidity until we think we are smarter than they are. Trump us up into hell.
There are no excuses but those that are sincerely made. You cannot answer an accusation with new algorithmisations. Just say it out loud – after washing your mouths – on the soap box you bought long before claiming even the Alphabet: “We are humbled by the hurt caused by our hubris. We just make machines – and apologize for them making you into machines.” That would be fair enough if you can muster up enough courage to be fair after decades of looking down on us.
It’s not because some of us bullied you at school that you have to put horns on all of us. Don’t worry about the shame in admitting the error of your ways, this world is a charitable place when push does not come to shove. Just realize that those who were bullied as kids to grow up as bullies of political power will definitely come for you first. When their push comes their shovel will leave you neither glad nor gay; as history has it they behave quite as predictably as your algorithms.
So, please, apologize first. Be intelligent about it. Avoid anything artificial in your apology. Remain as authentic in public as we know you are in private. Second, think about what you give us. Do not give us what we think we want. You know that what you really want is what you don’t yet know you want. You are not an algorithm. And neither are we. We are more alike (more like Alice in Wonderland) than you think; neither of us like to just swallow and both of us like a swallow if spring it does make.
It’s neither too hard nor too late to admit that some things do not compute. Human beings might div-zero you out most of the time but at least they’re not just your average string of half zeroes. There is no need to feel one of the heroes. It makes you sick to your stomach to stand out so blend right in. You’re not Über not even when you’re in California. The fact is that you have been drafted, picked, and enlisted by an elite that humors you into being a mechanic making their humorless world.
Yes, it’s all a sham and as it stands you’re all Dr. Strangelove’s children. It isn’t necessary to ditch all technology. Far from it. We like it that stupid stuff gets done for us by stupid computers. It makes us feel smarter in ways we really don’t want to be smart in. What is mandatory is that you really stop being so stupid to think we’re stupid because we are just stupid enough to be really stupefied by propaganda and propaganda is what the Doctor has ordered you to make us strangely love.
Do it for all of us. See machines as a means and humans as the end. If you don’t your machines will put an end to all of us. Practice in public what you preach privately when you gently whine about the injustice of it all to your partner – or when you wildly tear everything apart because you have nobody but a computer to share your whining with.
Post-Scriptum: when I wrote this Facebook did not yet admit to anything at all, meanwhile they do but still only in a half-hearted way – seeing human beings as an extension to their technology instead of their technology as yet another tool for helping human beings.
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