Wednesday Food: Corned Beef, Cabbage, and Other Fun with Stereotypes

St. Patrick’s Day. What a weird remnant holiday of America’s once-lowliest immigrants. It may be joined in commercial exploitation by Valentine’s Day and Halloween, but it seems less centered around a cause than any other Hallmark celebration. There is no death-by-chocolate or botched zombie costume to justify its existence in the year 2012. There are no gifts. No pretending to be devout to satisfy a grandparent. No grand meals at which to awkwardly converse with distant relatives and overeat.

What is there? A lot of drunk people.

Take it from someone who enjoys beer so much as to first brew it (as an excuse to drink it?) then hassle others by chronicling it (as an excuse to drink it?) I haven’t distilled or made wine yet but you can imagine that is in the not-too-distant future.

As a certified lover of libations I am here to say a holiday that revolves around drinking doesn’t really work. The clever drinkers stay home or hole up in cool bars with imported beer signs and equally annoyed bartenders. The amateurs, the moonlighters of drink, the general teetotalers, and the under-agers are the ones buying green beer and car bombs, and yakking in the gutter at 2 pm.

So be a curmudgeon and enjoy your eye-rolling while drinking a decidedly not-Irish beer (as I will plan to do.)

Or join the infinite gullible people who need an excuse to celebrate in March, and do the following: throw back a shot of Jameson, dive into some corned beef and cabbage in hopes of settling your student debt with a pot of gold,  hit yourself on the head with a shillelaugh stick and mutter ‘God Bless America” while you order that second Shamrock Shake (as I will probably do).

If your intended participation lies somewhere between try this corned beef cabbage pizza with a Guinness and call it an early night.

Sláinte.